Posted on Saturday, January 28, 2017

How To Get More Done

By Doing Less

Have you ever wondered how some people manage to find time to unplug? This is what you need to do if you want to accomplish more this year.

For years, I found plenty of time to unplug. Then I discovered that the more time I took for myself, the more tired I got. It also placed a strain on my closest relationships. This one little trick helped me to get back on track.

When it comes to rest, I’ve found that quality is just as important as quantity.

Remember, vocation came before vacation in the bible. God placed Adam and Eve in the garden with the charge to ‘dress’ and ‘keep’ it. Work is a gift and a pleasure. It only became more difficult after they disobeyed God. Yet as difficult as it got, nowhere in scripture do we see God abolishing the command to rest one day a week despite how hectic life gets.

Although I’d heard of the benefits of regular rest, things never really clicked until recent years. It’s counterintuitive, but you can get more done by unplugging regularly. In fact, if you’re not scheduling rest, you’re probably not resting.

God knew what He was doing when He prescribed regular rest in creation. There is day then night. The seventh day is to be a day of rest (not necessarily Sunday, but at least one day). Mealtime is a time of rest. In fact, once every seven years, farmers were to let their fields rest! Yes, even the natural world needs rest. So what do your rhythms of rest look like on a daily, weekly, annual basis?

Imagine having a whole day every week to regroup and resharpen! You can, but it’s going to require faith. The irony is you can accomplish just as much in six days as you can in seven. I realize that makes no sense to some people. I can hear you saying right now “Who’s going to do it all if I don’t?”

So what does a day of rest look like?

If you’re a pastor, I’ve got news for you: Sunday is not your day of rest. That means you need to pick another day of the week to regroup and rest.

Again, maybe you think that if you just do whatever you want, you’ll have a ‘good’ day. But again, remember that quality is just as important as quantity. You could take a year off and be absolutely miserable at the end of it.

So lets talk about variety for a minute. Are you stuck in a rut where every rest day looks the same? We all know the golfer who golfs all summer and then is glad when the summer is over. Thank God there are seasons in the North east. Otherwise, many of us would do the same things all year and reap diminishing returns in the process!

When is the last time you spent a rest day outside? I can already hear some of you protesting because it’s too cold. Not when you’re moving. Ask kids. They just bundle up and go for it, be it ice skating, sledding or building a snow castle in the front yard.

“The earth is the LORD’s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” Psalm 24:1

That doesn’t mean the outdoors is your primary place of worship. It means that there’s no place you can go and get away from evidence that there is a Creator. As a pastor I talk with people all of the time who say their church is in nature. I love the outdoors! But I love God even more and He designed us to thrive in community!

My son and I are currently working on survival packs to enjoy our times outside even more. Recently he saw someone using military water proof matches and now he wants to find some! Your essentials will include a flashlight or two, a map and two compasses. Two in case you don’t trust the first one.

On top of that, you can add a space blanket, chocolate, a mess kit, sharp knives and a fire starter. You never know when you’ll need them, and you’ll be quite happy to have them if you find yourself needing them. All of these items only weigh three or four pounds.

Once your kit or day bag is complete, you won’t have to go through the motions of preparing it every week.

I also received a Christmas present this year to help me enjoy my time outside even more. It’s a hand warmer and cell phone charger that can be charged with a USB cable just like your cell phone! I don’t currently have one (maybe you have an extra), but a GPS unit is also a great tool to have.

So how do you carve out a day just for yourself? Like everything else, if you don’t plan and schedule it, it’s not going to happen.

It may mean doing dishes and decluttering. You may have to service the car or cut the lawn. You may have to sit and just listen. Even after you do all of that, chances are your day of rest is going to include your family. Successful people know that the secret to having their own needs met is to meet the needs of others.

When it’s all said and done, you may not even end up with a whole day. You may just be able to slip away for a couple of hours. But remember, quality is just as important as quantity.

By now if you’re thinking that when you meet the needs of others, you will instantly have people meet yours, you are wrong! You’re going to have to invest. It’s going to take time to figure out what works best for you and your loved ones. Sometimes it may take years and still there will be no payout. That’s fine, that’s the way it goes. You’ll know in your heart of hearts that you’ve served as best you could.

Ultimately, there will be a reward. It may not be monetary. You may just receive a text when you get back from your day out and turn your cell phone back on. It may just come in the form of a ‘Thank You!’ letter after years of service or a blessing from God from out of the blue. Ideally you will see it in the changed lives of those you’ve invested in.

However, if you never schedule regular time to get away and regroup, chances are you’ll never be able to slow down enough to see the difference you’re making! So if you’re really busy right now, you need to unplug. You’re like your cellphone: you weren’t designed to run forever without recharging! For most people, one of the first things to get crossed off their list when they’re running full tilt is reflection and recharging. Don’t make that mistake of missing out on your pre-scheduled times of rest.

Posted on Friday, January 20, 2017

10,000 Ways to Beat Cabin Fever!

Vocation vs. Vacation

We all have seasons when we just want to go back to bed. Here’s why you shouldn’t do that.

Years ago my Dad took us ice fishing. That’s the kind of thing you do in the Northeast when all of the lakes and ponds freeze up. I especially enjoyed it because I would don a pair of ice skates and sneak out to the farthest tip up and trip the flag. Of course I only did it when things got slow. I wouldn’t say a word, but inevitably someone would see the red flag waving in the distance and everyone would make a mad dash for the “big one”. Often someone would slip and crash on the way after their coveted prize. The game never got old. Still makes me laugh!

When I wasn’t pulling pranks, I would often sit around and begin to shiver. Eventually I’d complain. My Dad would always say the same thing, “Take a lap!”. That meant that if I got up and started moving I would soon warm up.

When you’re a kid, you often don’t understand the depth of the lessons you’re learning. It’s only years later that you realize how powerful the principles are that you learned.

However, it often takes a set back to realize the importance of lessons you learned in the past.

For example, it’s easy to reach the point where inactivity seems like the best option. There’s actually a law about this. Things that are at rest have a tendency to stay at rest. And guess what? When you rest, you rust!

Remember the Tin man in the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy found him all seized up. If I remember correctly, he only had enough movement in his mouth to ask for a good oiling. We’re no different. Rest is a good thing. But too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. The same goes for sex, drink, food, you name it. One of the surest ways to lose your race is to take a permanent pitstop.

You see it all of the time in the working world. People retire and not long after they check out. I’m all for retirement if people are able to. However, a permanent vacation is no substitute for a vocation.

Go all the way back to the garden. Work came before the curse. Moses writes, “And the LORD took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.” Genesis 2:15. After the Fall, God said, “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return” Genesis 3:19.

We weren’t designed for a life of inactivity. We were designed to dress and keep. When we forfeit our dominion, we forfeit our freedom.

If you want to know what that feels like, simply imagine being handcuffed and shackled. God has a better way.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re here, you can rest assured you are here for a purpose. Part of that purpose is so that you can love God and others as well as yourself. That begins when you take God at his word and act on it. Once you do, that’s just the beginning, there is more. God wants to train you and use you to reach others.

The rub is it’s so easy to get focused on our own needs. When we do, we have a tendency to look inward and take our eyes off God and others. Before long, just like a pail full of water in January, we begin to freeze.

Here are some practical solutions I’ve found helpful.

Stay active. Yes, activity can numb the pain. We’re not talking about being excessively active to the point where we are numb to needs. But rather than looking at getting the mail in January as a curse, keep doing it. While you’re at it, write to others.

Use the phone for more than just texting. Reach out to people. Call them or stop by. People long for company these days. You just may find out that your problems pale in comparison to those of others. Ask people what they’re reading and share some of the titles that are helping you. I’m currently finding great help in “Leadership Pain”, “Concentric Circles of Care”, and “Where is God When it Hurts”. I’m also finding great comfort reading and praying through the Psalms.

Take a walk. Bake some cookies. Spend half a day cleaning the house. Just start in one corner and before long, you’ll be off to the races. There are very few things that compare to a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Shop around for less expensive car and home owners insurance. Take the kids iceskating. Dance in the kitchen. Be goofy and introduce them to the cartoons you watched as a kid. Dial up a family movie on Netflix…my son and I were recently intrigued by ‘My Side of the Mountain’. Share some of the music you listened to growing up as a kid….American Dream by CSNY recently took me back to the good old days when the future was still a mystery and I was searching for answers. Tell them stories about when you were a kid and how you passed the time before there were computers, cell phones, laptops and Ipads.

Teach. Don’t just pull up to the A.T.M and leave your kid in the car. Give him the debit card and walk him through using it. Let him experience the power of trial and error. Show him how to wash the car and vacuum it. Show him junk mail and how to spot it a mile away. Teach her the importance of quality rather than quantity when completing school work. Let them reap the rewards of bad seed they’ve sowed. Let them go to the bus stop without a coat, without worrying what every one will say. They’ll learn!

Eventually, we all discover that we’re “it”. It’s our turn to pass on generational wisdom and history.

Tomorrow will soon be here. Our lives are but vapors….here one minute and gone the next. The bible says to redeem the time. Cash it in, rather than saving it. These are the golden days, not some time far off in the future, so plant the corn rather than keeping it in the bin to rot and get eaten by the rats. Take a lap!

Posted on Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Use The Good China Now!

Don't Wait to Master this Approach

What if someone said you could radically change your life by learning to take it easy?

You’ve probably been raised to believe that you have to work hard every second of the day if you want to amount to anything. First, you were told to get good grades. Then you had to find the right college. Next you had to get a good job. Then you had to find the right mate. Then a home. Then have kids. Then save for college. Then save for retirement….

If you’re on that course, chances are you are thinking there has to be a better way.

We can get so caught up in making a living that we fail to live.

In fact, you probably know a person or two who heard the final buzzer before reaching their goals. A grandfather who died in his sixties. A mom who died in her fifties. In your quietest hours you probably still wonder why.

Learning to relax may not prolong your life on earth but you’ll gain a life in the process.

The golden years aren’t when you retire. The golden days are now. This isn’t a dress rehearsal for the big show. This is the big show. If you wait to start enjoying life when you’re retired, you’ll be disappointed.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t work. Of course we should work! And work hard. But if we work hard, we should also learn how to play hard. I’m not saying ‘eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die’. That idea runs contrary to the whole vibe of this blog.

It’s amazing that we take time to learn things we don’t enjoy and fail to study the things in life that really count.

While it is important to master things we don’t enjoy doing, it’s equally important to master things that will give us years of joy and fulfillment.

What if you studied to discover healthy ways to unwind at the end of a long day?

What if you figured out how to dwell in your home and not just pass the time?

What if you looked for ways to find joy in the mundane?

What if you spent more time with someone who knows how to relax around and enjoy other people?

Feel free to ponder some of the other areas you would like to study in your life. You are not a human doing, you are a human being.

Here are some tips to get you started.

Try something new and God will show you something new. What if instead of checking Facebook first thing in the morning, you spent a couple of minutes with your cat or dog. You have to feed them anyway. Turn what has become a chore into something that is mutually enjoyable for both of you. The essential thing is not your new routine, it is obliterating your old one.

Read outside your area of expertise. Reading is not only a great way to pass the time, it’s something you’ll have to do if you are going to figure out the answers to some of the questions you’re now asking. However, it doesn’t take as long as you think to become an expert in a new area. After you’ve read 4 or 5 books on your new interest, you’ll become familiar with the general concept and every writer will start sounding the same.

Share a meal with someone. No matter where you go, there will usually be people. There’s just something about sharing food or drink with somebody. In the gospels, you see Jesus doing this repeatedly. However, when we get caught up in the rat race, one of the first things to go out the window is the time we spend with people we care about. Remember, it’s not about the food. It’s about the relationship. Meals aren’t something we share just to gain nutritional value each day, meals are an opportunity to heal and cement healthy relationships.

Some of the happiest people you’ll meet are those who have achieved greatness but still know how to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. You’ll know them when you meet them. They are able to melt into their chair and relax and patiently listen while you talk. They make you feel more relaxed by just being around them. These kinds of leaders have learned the art of being.

Then there are the other kind. One speaker went to a mental institution and stated, “You know why we’re all here, don’t you?” There was a pause and someone finally stood up in the audience and said, “Because we’re not all there!”. Influential leaders live by the mantra ‘Wherever you are, be all there’.

Are you all there, or have you been in such a hurry to get there that you’re missing out?

The amazing secret is that when you slow down and enjoy life more, you achieve more than you would otherwise. Things are nice, but it’s not the things of life that add value to our life, it’s people. You can lose all of the things you have and buy new ones, but the same is not true with people.

Success is a moving target, and in our pursuit of it, we miss out on the now. We weren’t designed to work all of our lives only to achieve a momentary goal and die. Life is a precious jewel, meant to be enjoyed each and every day not just before our last breath. Start using the good China ware now with your children while they’re still young. They may break a cup or plate, but you’ll have memories to enjoy and laugh about in years to come rather than a load of regrets.

Posted on Friday, December 23, 2016

What In The World Are You Here For?

One Simple Principle to Clarify Your Future

Have you ever felt like you were in the middle of something and didn’t know the next step to take? It’s a common problem, especially this time of the year.

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same exact way while working construction after college. That’s right. Went to school for four years to study English and ended up running a jack hammer! At first it wasn’t all that bad. We worked out in the sun during the summer and the money was enough to even enjoy a want once in a while. Then came winter.

I believe there’s a simple reason why you may be feeling like your future is uncertain.

When we forget why we’re doing something, we lose our direction.

For example, ever gone into a room and forgotten why you were there? You don’t have to be a senior citizen for this to happen. The first thing you do is ask yourself “Why did I come in here?”

Nothing clarifies your present situation better than asking this question. When you’re happy with the answer to this question, you’ll find that your future becomes instantly clear.

Is it your job? One lady I know went to work to buy a vacuum cleaner. Thirty-five years later she was still working. That’s a whole other story, but maybe it’s time you asked yourself why you’re working the job you are right now. You may decide you’re doing it to provide for your family and create a better financial future for yourself. That’s fine. However, until you clarify why you’re working where you are right now, your future will be fuzzy and you’ll constantly lack direction.

Is it your marriage? You met the person of your dreams and it was Disney on earth. Then after you got married you were in hormone heaven for about a year. Now you realize the person you married has bad breath in the morning and actually uses toilet paper. Chances are you need to remember why you chose the path you did.

Perhaps it’s your kids. For years you dreamed of having them. You prayed for a boy and a girl. Now they’re teenagers and you often realize why some animals eat their own young. If someone asked you why you had them, what would you say?

Imagine if someone came up to you and said, “You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.” That’s what Jesus actually told a church in the book of Revelation, chapter two verse 3. Not too shabby.

However he followed up his words of praise with this statement, “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4). Ouch!

This church was doing a lot of things right. The problem was they were doing a lot of good things for the wrong reason. They had lost their why. They were “going through the motions”.

When it comes to love, we in the western world associate love with the ‘warm, fuzzy, feelings’. A cupid shoots you in the heart and then you….well you know the rest of the story.

The love talked about here is more practical. It’s agape love or a sacrificial love, the kind of love Jesus had when he sacrificed himself for you and I.

It wasn’t that the Ephesian church members hated Jesus. They were still doing a lot of great things. The problem was they weren’t loving others the way he loved them. They’d forgotten their why.

In the words of Gail Hyatt, “We lose our way, when we lose our why”.

Getting back to your job. If you’re wondering why you still work where you do and you decide you started doing it to provide for your family, why not put a picture of your family on your desk? It will help you remember your why, especially during the difficult and stressful times.

The same applies to other areas of your life. Surround yourself with physical reminders of your why. These small reminders will get you through the dark times….the times when you walk into the room and ask yourself why you came in there.

The warm, fuzzy, feelings are nice when they come, but most of the time, the only thing you’ll feel is pain as you step outside of your comfort zone. Many times the pain will come in the form of uneasiness. That’s alright, use it to keep yourself on the right path.

Many people believe that as they grow, there will be less pain and fewer setbacks and obstacles. I wish that were true. But in my own experience, each passing year brings with it new challenges and problems. As someone once said, “New levels, new devils”.

Knowing your why will help you see clearly as you navigate the darkness and emotional fog. Every time you’re tempted to throw in the towel because things are getting too hard or you don’t remember where you’re going, remember your why.

Remember, there is a great deal of sacrifice in life. Jesus sacrificed and he expects no less from us. The secret is that sacrificing your comforts, goods and resources for others brings great joy. When you do, you don’t lose anything, you gain just as a flame loses no power by lighting a candle.

Chances are if your candle is burning right now, you’re in a season when you need to remind yourself of your why. Once you do, things will be much more clear, especially this upcoming year.
The last thing you want to do is keep going through the motions and hoping for some form of relief. Take some time and get to the heart of the matter. Decide your why and write it down somewhere.

What is your why?

Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Do This To Reach Your Goals

Did you know that studies have shown that 85% of us don’t plan? In fact, only 10% do and another 5% simply wait to seize rare opportunities! No matter where you fit in these statistics, planning doesn’t have to be as complicated as it seems.

Recently while talking with some friends, we talked about the upcoming year and our plans. One of the topics was driving along the East coast between New York and Florida. No matter who you talk to, most people try to drive the route in the shortest time possible. All told, the trip takes about 24-30 hours depending on how many times you stop to rest and refuel.

I’ve found that in life, most of us have the same mentality when it comes to planning. We want the shortest route possible between where we’re at and where we’re headed. Along the way, we’ll do whatever it takes to reach our destination, be it risking our health, squandering our reserves, and straining our relationships.

I know from experience. In my early twenties I drove my brother from New York to Florida- straight through, only stopping for fuel- and back! He wasn’t too impressed on the way down and was even less impressed on the way home. Thankfully, our experience was so miserable that I decided I’d never do that again.

You’re laughing, but is that how you plan? I’d be willing to bet that you’ve already been thinking about the upcoming year and you’ve been so focused on your end results that you haven’t stopped to think about what you’re going to do along the way. For example, if you’ve decided to diet, it’s going to be hardcore. You’re going to stop eating junk, start eating vegetables, cut your portions, and go to the gym 3-5 times a week. It’s not going to work!

Pursuing your goals without taking any time to celebrate or reward yourself is not just foolish, it can be devastating. There is going to be fallout. Taking the necessary steps to reach a goal is a wonderful thing, but more than just setting goals, you need a plan and that plan needs to include mile markers. Nobody ever climbed Mount Everest in one giant leap, it takes many steps and times of rest.

The beautiful part is you get to be the designer. Here’s how to start.

Decide where you’re at. Define reality. Mark an X on the page.

Next, decide where you’re headed. Imagine a clear mental image of what things will look like when you reach your goal.

X X Clear mental image of results.

Now, draw a straight line between the two X’s. To determine your ‘small wins’.

X________x_________x__________x_________x________X.

These are the mile markers between your starting point and destination where you will take time to reflect and celebrate! Chances are if you’re reading this blog, you’re not very good at celebrating. Chances are you’re a self-disciplined achiever and you’re always too busy working on the next win to celebrate.

As Stephen King wrote, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. If we don’t take time to relax and enjoy our successes, life loses it’s flavor. Before you know it, you begin to think life is all about work. The surprising thing about some of the happiest and successful people you’ll ever meet is that they recognize the importance of work and play. When it’s time to work, nobody works harder. When it’s time to play, they’re all in.

The question is how do you incorporate type B habits if you’re a type A personality? Good question. This is something I never thought about for years until recently. I guess the short answer is you have to schedule. Just as Holidays are marked out on the annual calendar, each of us have to decide when we’re going to come apart before we come apart.

If you’re a really driven type A person, you’ll have to begin by using the same discipline you already have, to make yourself take the time to rest and relax. Not annually, but monthly, weekly and daily!

It going to take more than an annual vacation for you and your family to stay in the race and finish well. You have to decide how you’re going to lead them to rest regularly and celebrate. Face it, celebration is a lost art form in the day and age we live in.

Jesus himself realized the importance of resting. Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat” (Mark 6:31). I wonder how many times you and I have ignored his invitation to do the same.

Again, I’m not saying you shouldn’t make plans for the upcoming year or set a few goals. What I am saying is New Year’s resolutions generally do not work. The reason they don’t work is because they are usually radical sprints with little provision for rest and small wins. Yes, they work for some, but not most.

If you don’t take the time to write down a starting and ending point with rest stops and celebrations along the way, chances are this upcoming year is going to end up the same way this year did.

Rather than expecting your pursuits to be easy, do the hard work of making a plan. Then, work your plan and your plan will work.

The last thing any of us want to do is get to the end of our lives and look back along the highway and see the wreckage of our friends and loved ones who tried to keep up with us but couldn’t.

Slowing down so that others can keep up isn’t just a good idea if we want our loved ones to arrive with us, it’s also a great recipe for keeping ourselves in one piece.

How are you going to reward yourself as you reach for your goals in the upcoming year?

Posted on Wednesday, November 30, 2016

What To Do Before You Do Anything

You Need To Do This Well To Excel

Imagine walking through the mall this month and someone walks up to you and kisses you and tells you that they love you? Today we’re going to talk about why that might not be so weird in the day and age that we live in.

If it was a complete stranger, you’d probably be shocked! If however, it was your spouse you’d think it was totally natural. Why? It all has to do with context. Given the context of marriage and your relationship at that time, your spouse has the right to kiss you and express their love for you. A stranger does not have that right.

Context may not sound like such a big deal at first glance, but it’s implications are far reaching. If you err in evaluating context as a leader, it can cost you greatly. In fact, with the advent of social media and the world we live in, it may be one of the greatest skills a leader should concentrate on.

For example, how easy is it to take a text the wrong way? Even if the person sending it uses emoticons, their message can still be cloudy or misinterpreted, right?

As a leader, understanding your context is very important. Ask any pastor who has gone to a conference, came home, and tried to implement everything they learned. They assumed that just because something was working for another leader in California, the same would work for them in New York. Usually that’s not the case, because each context is different.

So how do you discover your context. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. You need to do your research. A great example of a group who attempted to do that is found in Numbers 13 and 14. In these chapters, Moses sent 12 spies into the land of Canaan to discover the quality of the land and its resources. He also wanted to see what kind of opposition they were going to face if they decided to overtake it. They were “doing their homework”.

Again, the importance of context can’t be overstated. This is especially true when interpreting the scriptures. As you study them, you need to ask important questions. What is the historical context? What is the literary context? What is the cultural context? Any preacher will tell you that until you’ve done that, you’re not ready to preach a sermon.

Taking this a step further, context is everything in relationships and leadership, world events, politics, etc.

When we lift words or conversations out of context, they lose their meaning. For example, a conversation with your spouse might be perfectly acceptable in private, but having that same conversation in public might not be.

Again, you might totally misunderstand a statement someone makes on social media and decide to disagree. Having a conversation with that person over coffee or on the phone is probably a lot more appropriate than berating them in public.

When interpreting context, it’s so important to examine the source. It’s a little different when your four year old gets mad and says they hate you than it is when a four year employee says the same words.

As a leader, it’s so important to determine context. Your ability to do so, can make the difference between a long and fulfilling career and a short one.

I wonder how many arguments with our loved ones might be eliminated if we took the time to step back and look at the context in the given situation.

I wonder how much more peace we’d have if we walked away from conversations with our peers and interpreted their words based on the context of our friendship with them.

I wonder how much easier parenting would be if we looked at the actions and words of our children through the grid work of context.

What happens is that as we go through life, the words of those we love and their actions have the potential to derail our happiness if we fail to understand context. If we’re not careful, a one time event can be interpreted as a final straw. If we’re not careful, we can decide to burn all bridges based on a single event when someone we love was simply angry or immature. Lets face it, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes.

The better you understand your context, the more you’ll be able to help those you love and serve.

Moses sent out spies to get the information he needed. That might be o.k. if you’re looking to start a new business or a church. But if you’re looking to better understand someone, having a conversation with them might be a better place to start.

Spending time with people is also a great way to better understand your context. When you do, be sure to occasionally ask questions to get the information you need.

If your a leader, you might even consider sending out a survey through a company like surveymonkey.com.

What are the local customs of the people you serve? There’s a difference between the customs of people in Las Vegas, Nevada and people who live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Cultures also vary from place to place. While this may seem like commonsense, it’s an important consideration when determining your context.

One last thing to remember is that the experts aren’t always right. Remember the 12 spies we talked about? Only 2 out of 12 of them came back with an accurate report about the Promised Land! Here we see that the majority is not always correct. While having a team is a great way to build a consensus, as a leader, you’ll have to make the best decision possible regardless of the consensus.

Again, it wouldn’t be odd if you were in the Mall and your spouse came up to you and kissed you and told you they love you. That would be perfectly natural in that setting. However, if a stranger did the exact same thing, it would be more than just plain weird, it would be unnatural. Great leaders know this and act accordingly. They do their thinking and decision making based on the context they are operating within and lead people accordingly. Call it discernment, call it heart, call it what you want, contextual thinking is powerful!

Posted on Tuesday, November 8, 2016

The Clear And Simple Solution To Every Problem

Wrestle the Bear

During a morning walk with my friend, he shared a bit of wisdom, “There’s a clear and simple solution to every problem….and it’s usually wrong!”

A little over two years ago, my wife took our minivan to the dealership and they told her it was going to cost about six hundred dollars just to pull apart the dash to see what was wrong and restore the heat. We were stymied. After all, the “experts” had spoken on the issue and that was that.

Fast forward two years and my wife threw down the gauntlet and said it was time to replace the vehicle. No problem, but I’m the worse salesman in the world and told everyone interested in the van what was wrong with it. I sleep really good at night though :-). However, despite my honesty, we were having a hard time selling the van. Not too many people want a vehicle without heat in the Northeast. Go figure!

Long story short, after many hours of trouble shooting and repeated attempts, I discovered what was wrong and fixed it! The motor that works the mixer door under the dash had died, leaving the flap closed so that no heat could enter the ductwork. The van now has luxurious heat….it’s like sitting in front of a fireplace and it cost me zero dollars to repair. Want to buy it?

I don’t know what challenge or problem you’re facing right now, but I do know one thing. There’s a clear and simple solution to your problem and it’s usually wrong. That’s not to say that some things aren’t easy to figure out. However, long, ongoing issues are evidence that the solution you’re in need of may take some time and wisdom, not to mention repeated attempts. But one thing is for sure, if you do nothing, nothing will change.

Most of us, however, do SOMETHING. The problem is we don’t do enough of something.

We go to the gym….for a week. We date our spouse once a week….for a month. We go back to school….for a semester. The problem is we’re starting and stopping so much that we never follow through with anything. Then a pattern of giving up begins. And it gets easier and easier to keep giving up. Eventually, the least little bit of resistance is enough to ground our dreams and plans. Unfortunately, our kids watch us and catch the disease

Here are just a few thoughts on problem solving.

Walk away from the problem. Not permanently, but temporarily. Take a break. Take a walk. Unplug until you are able to come back to the problem with fresh eyes and a refreshed spirit. My grandfather, a wise old farmer, taught me this trick years ago and trust me, there are plenty of conundrums when you own a farm. So stop doing the same thing over and over and getting worn out. Take a break. Maybe you need to research your problem a bit more. Maybe this challenge is a valuable education in disguise. The knowledge it has to teach you may be helpful for years to come.

Pray. This one ought to come before walking away from the problem. However, if you’re like me, it’s fitting. I can’t count the times I’ve attempted something then prayed. In the words of Jesus’ half-brother James, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5). Pound for pound, there’s a lot of wisdom packed in that verse. Ask God specifically to provide you with a clear and simple solution to your problem.

Wait. Not to work on the problem, but for the solution. Sometimes it’s only a matter of time. I know an innocent guy who spent years in prison before he was finally freed. In the meantime, he used his gifts as best as he could and further developed his character. In the meantime, his patience muscle grew. His name was Joseph and you can read about him in Genesis chapters 37-50. As a pastor, I constantly tell people, “It took you years to get in the mess you’re in and it may take just as long to get things straightened out”. Attending church one Sunday isn’t going to solve all of your problems, stick around for the long haul.

Remember, there’s a clear and simple solution to every problem, and it’s usually wrong.

Simple solutions take the form of flight. It’s much easier to run from the bears in our lives than to attack them….or so it seems. Eventually the bears catch up with us and we still have to face them. It takes a lot less energy to face your problems than to run from them.

You know the story. A man was missing from home for six months! That’s a long time. Finally, his wife heard a knock at the door and she opened it to find her husband standing there in filthy rags. One shoe was missing. “What happened?”, she asked. “Well,” he replied, “I got chased by a bear for two weeks.” “Chased by a bear for two weeks? You’ve been gone for six months! Where were you the rest of the time?” she asked. “Well, I’ve been walking back!”, he answered.

We can run from our problems and to be quite honest, it feels pretty good sometimes. However, most of the time we’re better off committing to solving our problems rather than running from them. In the words of my good friend, “There’s a clear and simple solution to every problem, and it’s usually wrong.”

Posted on Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Are You In Need Of A Relationship Makeover?

Something That Was Never Designed To Be A Substitute For Listening

22 But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.

One of the highlights of my childhood was spending time with my grandfather. It didn’t matter where we went, in fact, I don’t remember what we talked about half the time. The sheer joy was just being in his presence.

How about you? As we navigate the river of life, it’s so easy to forget how important it is just to spend time with people. The conversation doesn’t have to be deep every time and it doesn’t matter if you never solve all of the problems in the world. What matters is the company….the connection….or, in the words of one of my favorite English professors “experiencing the human condition together.”

I admit I’m just as guilty as anyone. As a pastor, I often feel like words are my greatest commodity and I have to fill all the empty spaces of a visit with pearls of wisdom. What I’m learning, is words are important but what really matters is presence. Jesus spent time with his disciples. He pitched his tent among them. He even hung out on the cross for them. However, as a leader it’s so easy to feel like time with others is wasted unless we solve some kind of problem or relieve a pressure point. Not true. Often, a touch of the hand or a kind smile or furrowed brow has the power to accomplish what words never can. Sometimes just knowing you’re there is enough. If you don’t believe me, go and read Psalm 23. In it David is greatly comforted by Jesus his shepherd, yet there is no mention of words as one of those comforts! Presence is often greater than words.

However, many times, in my relationships with others, I often revert to lecture mode. If something’s going to get fixed, I infer, I must say something. I must put forth a rational solution. Define the facts. Come up with a solution. When in reality, our families don’t need another coach, or specialist. All they want is us. Crazy, I know! But when’s the last time your kids or your wife asked you for clear, sound, practical advice? Bet you can’t remember. But skip a game, or a meal, or a Saturday with them and watch what happens. It’s not our advice they want, they just want us. “Where were you”, they’ll ask, not “tell me again what you said before”.

These days, in my opinion, there is a lot of doing and not a lot of hearing. Because if there was more listening going on, it would show up in our actions. James says, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” Again, there is no shortage of doing. In fact, people can’t stop doing. Every waking moment has to be filled with activity. It’s an epidemic. Productivity, however, means being busy at the right things. In my own experience it’s so easy to get busy without first taking the time to listen. If you’re too busy to listen, you’re too busy to lead….for God, in your home, at work, and in the community and world around you. It’s time to start getting busy with our ears, especially before God, and then start getting busy doing.

Just yesterday a good pastor/friend reminded me that as disciples, one of the key things we do is spend time with Jesus. Not just talking to him, but listening. Every time in my life that I have, the ice has melted and there was a Springtime thaw. It’s amazing what just a short, but intentional period of time, will do for your home life, personal circles, and spheres of influence. Yes, we must DO, but first we must make time to HEAR.

And if Jesus spent time with his disciples, therefore we must spend time with our loved ones. They’re not going to get what they need from a video on Youtube, T.V or their friends. What they need is us. In tune. On point. Present. Available.

So what are you trying to do? Whatever it is, God is with you. In tune. On point. Present. Available. When you go to bed, he’s with you. When you wake up, he’s with you. When you go to the dog groomer, he’s with you. When you hurt, he’s with you. When you laugh, he’s with you. Just as you wanted to spend time with your Grandfather when you were young, God wants to spend time with you. Maybe you’re feeling the pain of separation right now and you’d give a million dollars to be able to spend one more minute with a lost loved one. Guess what? God knows. He’s listening. He never wastes a hurt and you shouldn’t put a period where he’s put a question mark.

Imagine if we decided to stop what we’re doing, right now, and spend some time just listening to God. Again, here’s a good verse to start with “Don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” Think about what God is saying. As thoughts come to mind, write them down on a piece of paper. If thoughts don’t immediately come, wait until they do. You may even come back later this week and write down some more.

Imagine if we focused on being present, the next time we’re with someone else. Rather than just thinking about what we’re going to say about ourselves next, imagine if we got seriously interested in finding out what that other person is going through. Just listening. Maybe nodding our head from time to time or giving just a brief vocal response to let them know we’re still listening. Maybe that’s why God wants us to develop the discipline of intently listening to him so that we can patiently listen to others.

Finally, do. We are human beings, and not human doings, but part of being human means taking action. In fact, be the kind of person you expect those you lead to be. Yesterday, pastor Johhny Hunt said, “If you want your people to be generous, you be generous. And you don’t have to be rich to be generous. You only have to be generous to be generous.” Eventually you will have to use words but when you do, you’ll be ready because you will have spent time with the wisest person who ever walked the planet. You’ll also have to lead, but that too will be no problem because you will have taken the time to be led. Leaders listen and then act on what they’ve heard.

If you reread the words of James, there is a catch. The catch is this. There are people who take the time to listen, but they don’t take the time to act accordingly. We like to think it is because fear or feelings of insecurity creep in. James, however, says if something walks like a sheep and talks like a sheep they’re probably a sheep. However, if someone says they’re a sheep yet walks like a goat and talks like a goat, they’re probably a goat.

What are your thoughts? Do you think there is more doing than listening these days, or is the reverse true? Where once there was great listening and very little doing, there now seems to be great doing and very little listening. Doing was never designed to be a substitute for listening.

“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11 (NLT)

Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2016

It’s Not Too Late

Reawakening Your Passion

The fact that you’re reading this, tells me you’re the type of person who wants to get better. However, those who are constantly trying to move forward, eventually lose momentum. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Last year I lost about twenty five pounds over a six month period. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was life changing. My wife claims it was closer to thirty. Whatever it was, it didn’t last. I ended up going through a tough season where I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. Needless to say, I ended up gaining back about half of what I’d lost. Maybe you’re there right now.

It may not be weight, but some kind of personal gain. Maybe it was a great routine or saving money. Perhaps you had a regular date night with your spouse. You’re not alone, all of us get side tracked at one point or another.

Rather than thinking about what you’re going to do next to get your mojo back, why don’t you just pick up where you left off? That’s what I did. I went back to cutting portions, making healthier decisions between meals, eating a good breakfast, cut soda, started drinking my coffee black. As of this writing, I’m no Adonis, but I have lost some of the weight and experienced some victory here and there. With a little persistence, I will get back to where I was and start working toward my initial goal.

In the words of John Maxwell, “We all have uphill hopes and downhill habits”. You’re not alone. We’re all in the same boat. But it’s also not too late! The minute you start believing that, you’re all done.

It’s not too late. It’s not too late. It’s not too late. That’s not a typo. I’m here to tell you there’s still hope. Doesn’t it seem so simple once you boil it all down?

You don’t have to give up on your dreams. Here are some tips to help you as you transition into your next season.

Get a Partner– Rather than placing all of the weight on yourself, there are other options. For example, you can get an accountability partner. Did you know that 90% of people who have a partner, stick with the program? On the flip side, only 10% of people who exercise, have a partner. Ecclesiastes reads, “It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps. But if there’s no one to help, tough!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (The Message). A partner will be there to pick you back up when you fall and encourage you to keep going. Get one! What are you waiting for?

Measure your Results– I used to be the type of person who only weighed in about once every ten years, beside Dr. appointments. Now I weigh in daily. There’s one thing I’ve learned- numbers don’t lie! Monitor your progress. When the numbers or results aren’t what you’re aiming for, make adjustments in your strategy and capitalize. It will pay HUGE dividends.

Call a Friend– That’s right! The importance of connection can’t be emphasized enough. So when you call them, make an appointment to meet and catch up. The reason we sometimes struggle is because we don’t take the time to cultivate our relationships with the people we love and care about. Just this past week, I reconnected with a handful of relatives at the fair and it totally recharged my batteries. Who is it that you need to get together with? The wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, wrote, “You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17 (The Message). If you don’t have at least one friend who brings out the best in you, find one!

Whatever you do, I want you to know it’s not too late! Your best days are still ahead of you, not behind you. You may not feel that way right about now, but it’s the truth. So learn from your mistakes. Instead of trying to continually come up with a new plan, re-work the old one.

Just this morning, while taking my daughter to a track meet, we pulled onto a major highway and the traffic was crawling. At first, we reasoned the State was probably doing roadwork. Inwardly, I confess my focus was on myself and how I was being inconvenienced. Granted, it was a fleeting thought, but I admit to having it. However, as we proceeded further, we saw the facts proved otherwise. First we saw the red flashing lights and firemen, then a mangled can the size of a car wedged under a guard rail. A helicopter was idling in the other oncoming lane. The feelings of being inconvenienced were soon replaced with prayer and thoughts of thankfulness. I thought to myself, if that person or people are still alive, they’re probably going to have a long road to recovery.

The fact is, recovery takes time. So if you get back in the saddle, don’t just think things are going to change over night. They will in some ways, for instance you’ll be relieved that you made the right choice. But most likely it will take some time to recover if you’ve crashed and burned. So the question isn’t what are you going to do tomorrow. The question is what are you going to do right now? What’s your next step that’s going to set you up for the success you’re looking for?

For instance, if you’ve decided you’re going to start working out again before work in the morning, prepare. Put your clothes and running shoes out before you go to bed. In the morning, you won’t have to waste time trying to find everything while you’re still half asleep. It will all be there waiting for you.

Maybe you’ve decided you’re going to get out of debt. Cutting up your credit cards may seem absurd, but it’s a partial solution and you don’t have to wait until tomorrow to do it. While you’re at it, go to the Library and borrow a set of C.D’s on Financial Management or get a book or two. Better yet, do both.

But whatever you do, don’t just keep waiting for a moment of inspiration to get back to the fundamentals that once helped you achieve success. Feelings can be nice things, but successful people don’t wait for them to show up, they just get down to business and enjoy the feelings when and if they come. I’d love to hear about some of the strategies you are using to reach your goals, so please feel free to comment below. Remember, it’s not too late! It’s not too late! It’s not too late!

Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2016

You Don’t Need A New Life

The Art of Appreciation

If you’ve ever been to a funeral, you know that we have a tendency to remember the positive things about people and forget their faults once they die. The reverse is true, sometimes, while they’re still alive. What if you started doing this?

It’s sooooo easy to focus on what’s wrong with your life. Sometimes it seems the older you get, the more your dissatisfaction grows. What started out as Measles becomes a full-blown case of appendicitis of the soul. If you’re not careful, the pain is so bad, you can’t think of anything else. It can begin with your unruly kids, or your jerk boss, or your horrible house and your insensitive spouse. Before you know it, you meet the enemy and he is you! That’s right. The problem isn’t your kids, your boss, your house or your spouse. You’re your problem. And the problem is you’ve gotten to the point where you focus on everything that’s wrong with your world.

So, when is the last time you focused on everything that’s right in your world? I’m not saying that there aren’t issues in some of those other areas we’ve looked at, I’m just saying that when we face difficulties, we can forget about how good of a life we really have. For example, aren’t you glad it wasn’t your funeral I just attended today?

Call it positive thinking, call it glass half-full, call it whatever you want. If you’re always completely focused on what’s wrong with your life and not what’s right, you’re going to be miserable. Now, if you’re not actively seeking to provide for your family and you’re just waiting for someone else to do it, that’s another story. But if you’re genuinely seeking what’s best for you and your family, you’ve got a lot going for you.

People say the Christian life is hard and it can be. I get that. Though the Christian life is all up hill, God has given us the resources to thrive. We have Jesus himself, the Holy Spirit, God’s Word- the scriptures, prayer and friends to encourage and strengthen us. The problem is we can get to the point where we neglect some or all of these things. Then life gets hard indeed. If the Christian life wasn’t hard, you’d never grow.

Speaking of the scriptures, the apostle Paul wrote, “I have learned whatsoever state I’m in, therewith to be content.” Philippians 4:11. Talk about the art of appreciation! Paul was writing from a Roman jail and explaining what true joy is. Maybe just after he wrote this sentence, a rat ran under his chair! Yet, Paul was able to say “I’m content”. That’s not to say Paul preferred prison over the penthouse suite. But God can turn your prison into a palace if you’ll only focus on what’s right with your life and not what’s wrong.

Right about now you may be thinking, “he just doesn’t get it, that’s not going to make my problem go away.” Your right. I’m not saying to think positive and all of your problems will go away. What I’m saying is your problems aren’t going to go away unless you change. And part of that includes your mindset. If you just keep focusing on all of your problems, you’re going to miss out on the power. Don’t ignore your problems, attack them. And that begins with a heart of thanks and appreciation for what you have that’s worth saving.

If you don’t think this is a prevailing mindset, think of the last conversation you had with someone. As you talked with them, did that person strike you as someone who was truly appreciative and thankful for the opportunity to live. Or, did they strike you as someone who feels like they need more? Listen, it’s o.k to want more. But you’re not going to be more joyful with more if you’re not content with what you have right now. Once you get more, there will always be more to get.

Likewise, chances are you’re not going to get less. By that I mean, your best years of health may very well be behind you. In the future, there may be more Dr.’s appointments. More funerals. More bills. More grandchildren. Chances are your life is going to get more complicated, not less. Chances are you’ll have more problems to solve, not less.

Right about now, you may be wondering if it’s all really worth it. I’m here to tell you, yes! If you’re 22 or 92, you have a lot to be grateful for. The fact that you’re even able to read the words on this page, puts you in good standing.

I just started painting with oils again after twenty years and it’s been amazing. There are a lot of lessons. Here’s one thing I’ve learned. It’s frustrating but insightful. I’ve been painting landscapes, and without fail, there are parts of my painting that come out amazing and others not so amazing. The next painting I do, I completely flub the part I did well and perfect the part I painted poorly in the last picture. So, what do I do? I turn off the inner editor and think to myself, there are many people who would be happy with this, flaws and all.

Friend, your life may not be perfect, but there are plenty of people who would love to have it, flaws and all. It may sound funny, but I pray that as you work on fixing some of the mistakes in your own life, God teaches you more about the art of appreciation. No matter what you’re going through, and how many times you feel like giving up, you have a lot to be thankful and appreciative for. So next time you feel like throwing in the towel, why not change your mind and focus on what you’ve got, not what you want?

While we’re at it, would you join me? Lets start focusing on what other people around us are doing right and encourage them. What if we just constantly looked for opportunities to encourage people who are doing the right think and stopped policing for people who are messing up? I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to do a lot better when I’m loved than when I’m criticized. Love you folks. Have a great week!