Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have all of the luck? I’ve been there. It’s so easy to take a look around and see people finding success in areas that you are failing in. Social media only exacerbates the problem. Rarely do people post about their failures, all we get to see are their highlight reels.
So how do you change anything?
When it comes to change, we don’t lack willpower, we are just blind in certain areas of our lives. This is important to understand because willpower can only take you so far. More than willpower, you need to have a plan and educate yourself if you’re going to reach your goals.
More than a plan and personal education, you need social support. You need to be around people who know your dream and are cheering for you. Likewise, you may have to disassociate with people who want to sabotage your plan. These people are easy to recognize because they say things like: “You’ve changed” or “You never cared before”, not to mention the classic jab: “What, are you, too good for us?”
Once you examine your own weaknesses and temptations, you are are ready to map out a plan. Write down the necessary steps that have to be taken. Come up with more than one way you are going to counter the things that tend to make you deviate from making a bee line to your goal. For example, you may set up alarms on your cell phone to remind you of your vulnerable times. Or, you might wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you find yourself thinking self- defeating thoughts.
While you’re at it, make plans to reward yourself when you reach incremental goals. Promise to buy yourself that new book on Friday if you’ve reached your goal for the week. Rewarding and punishing yourself along the way will help you stay on track.
Sooner or later, despite your best efforts, you will fall. Get back up again and keep on going. Learn from your mistakes. Take the information you’ve learned from your failure and use it to better refine your plan.
Change is hard work. If you don’t roll up your sleeves and get to work on your plan, you’ll get rolled up in the motions of just getting by. Don’t depend on the things that have helped others, customize a plan that is going to work for you. You don’t have to run 5 miles a day like your neighbor, maybe a brisk walk every other day is a better fit.
Studies have shown that most plans work: the problem is most people never work their plan. You don’t have to be one of the 98% who make a New Years resolution and blow it by February 1st. Find a plan that works for you and stick to it.
You don’t have to go it alone; I’ve written a book to help you begin your journey called “Life Coaching: 7 Myths Keeping You From Your Best Year Yet.” The book is available in Kindle and print on Amazon.com.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear any thoughts you might have on this topic.