Life can be really messy. Especially when it comes to making a change. Some people don’t mind change as long as they know how every thing is going to work out. Unfortunately, you don’t always know.

I’m talking about a change I’ve made in the recent past. There were many uncertainties. However, it seemed like the best thing to do.

In my own experience, the right choices don’t always look good on paper. You know what I mean if the change you are considering means a cut in pay or some setbacks for a while.

The good news is that sometimes things work out better than you could have ever imagined. So here’s a principle.

There’s always an obstacle between where you are and where you want to go.

Most people are not willing to take the chance. The ones who do prosper.

If you’re not taking any risks whatsoever, chances are you are at risk.

There’s the risk of dying inside. The risk of never knowing what could have been. The risk of missing out. The risk of being devoured because….well, you’re not taking any risks.

I’m not saying you should play Russian Roulette with your finances, relationships, spiritual life or anything else for that matter.

But you might want to reconsider if there’s a change you feel God wants you to make. If there’s a change that will benefit you and your family. A change that will advance your spiritual life.

The reason I say this is because if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to get the same results.

As I said earlier, I took a chance that seemed right and it is paying off in Spades. It multiplied my circle of friends tenfold. Increased my income. And allowed me to have the kind of life I only dreamed about for twenty years.

That’s not saying any of those things are going to happen if you make the change you’ve been considering.

However, there is a good chance that the change you’re considering will make a difference. In your life and the lives of others.

Remember, there’s always an obstacle between where you’re at and where you’re trying to go.

Be it a Giant. A river without a bridge. A dream without a template. Heaven without a stairway.

You have to kill the Giant. You have to figure out how to get your troops across the raging waters. You have to devise the plan to make the dream come true and initiate it. You have to build the escalator to the heavens.

That’s actually the fun part. Life without a challenge would be a bore. You can stay at your current level with the rest of the crowd or break out and climb higher. It’s your choice.

But I promise you that the best way to get the results you’re getting is to stay exactly where you are. And eventually things are going to change anyway. That’s the natural cycle. So you can work to move beyond your current status or be swept downstream eventually by change.

Here are some questions.

If you just keep making enough to pay your bills do you think you will ever have enough to do the things you really want to do?

If you don’t put your self in situations where you are around more people, do you think your circle of friends will ever increase?

If you remain in your comfort zone, do you believe you’ll ever be challenged to grow?

Good questions, right?

If you’re satisfied with the results you’re getting, so be it. However if the reverse is true, you’re going to need to make a change.

The reason we don’t like change is because we have to walk from this room to the room down the hall and we’re afraid it’s going to be dark in the hall and big scary, furry monsters are going to jump out and get us.

Jesus didn’t refer to humans as sheep by accident. Sheep are fearful animals. So are we, sometimes.

As you navigate your current dark hall, here’s a verse for you.

God’s your Guardian,
    right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
    sheltering you from moonstroke.
 
God guards you from every evil,
    he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
    he guards you now, he guards you always.
-Psalm 121: 5-8 (The Message)

Maybe, just maybe the change you are contemplating is of God. Perhaps it’s something he’s been preparing you for and orchestrating for a while now. You’ll never know unless you strike out into new territory.

However, don’t feel like you have to bet the farm. Rather, take a flyer. By that, I mean, take a small step in the direction you are considering and see what happens. Think of it as temporary, not permanent. Don’t quit your day job.

Everyone seems to think you have to do something radical to make a change. That’s not true. Take a baby step. Rather than upping your 401k deduction to 10%, try 2% for a while.

Keep your full-time job and try working the job you’re interested in part-time.

Volunteer 1 hour a week before you agree to 5.

Instead of trying to save $100.00 a week, start with ten.

You don’t have to slay the Giant on the first day. You can practice sharpening your sword.

You don’t have to cross the river the first day. Start by finding some logs to tie together.

You don’t have to have a successful non-profit the first day. Begin by narrowing your target and getting something down on paper.

You don’t have to take everyone to the next level tomorrow. For today, simply write down 5 things you can do to change your culture.

But whatever you do, do something. Take some kind of action. Otherwise you’ll never make any progress. That’s fine if you want to be in the same boat five, ten or twenty years from now. However, if you don’t, start today. Again, don’t worry about going all in. You can always do that later.

When I was in my twenties, I didn’t just hit bottom, I dug a hole. I remember just wanting to disappear into thin air. All that would be left were some chalk lines on the pavement. Sorry no details here, I’m sure you have a story of your own.

The problem is that we all have a tendency to believe we can create our own happiness. If we just do a little more or better, than everything will be all right. We’ve bought the lie that if we just work hard enough our lives will match the stock photos where everyone’s hair is perfect and nobody has zits, let alone skeletons in the closet.

The bible says otherwise. It says someone, not just anyone, but Jesus, had to die for me….before I was even born! An innocent person had to die for the guilty. Me. You.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His [a]only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16 (New American Standard Bible).

I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel pretty good. Especially when I examine my own personal performance on a weekly, daily and moment by moment basis.

He loved me. He died for me. He was buried for me. And he triumphed over the grave. That’s really good news and it applies to you.

In the words of a song writer, “Living, he loved me. Dying, he saved me. Buried, he carried my sin far away. Rising, he justified, freely forever. One day he’s coming O glorious day!”

Have you ever wanted to be rescued? I think many people do. We saw that this past few weeks when people were buying Powerball tickets. Why? Because we honestly believe that a payout like that has the potential to fix everything that’s wrong with our lives.

I’m not against people who take chances. Faith means trusting God and taking a chance. Farmers take a chance and plant seed with the hope that it will produce a crop. As believers, we should be planting seed and taking chances. The bible says if we sow a lot of Tomato plants, chances are we will harvest a lot of Tomatoes.

What if you took a chance and trusted God with your life. Right now. “Heavenly Father, I’ve sinned. Please save me!” If that’s too fancy, why not just cry out “HELP!” He knows your heart.

If you fell into an icy river, you wouldn’t be shouting anyone fancy. A stander by on the banks would see your need and understand your simple cry for help. Why is it that we often feel like we have to figure our problem out before we ask God for help.
If your life is a mess right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone. We don’t have to live in this world very long before trouble and heartache comes along.

God created the world to be perfect. Paradise. Heaven on earth. Mega pixels beyond measure. There was no sin, no death. The Lion laid down with the Lamb.

Then sin entered the world and the picture began to change. There was friction between the first man and wife. The ground was increasingly difficult to work. Weeds and thorns popped up. Child bearing was painful. Their oldest son killed their youngest son.

For thousands of years it got worse. There were murders on the front page headlines. Horrors beyond horror. Rape. Greed. Entire populations wiped out. Deaths by arrows, death by stones. Death by strangulation….

Finally, when the timing was just right, God sent a Deliverer. A Messiah He had been predicting for thousands of years. Jesus!

When Jesus died on the cross, he died for us. He died for those in the past who foresaw his day and believed he had the power to save them. He died for all who would live in the future and need forgiveness. He died for you. He died for me.

How do we know? He arose from the grave after he was buried. That was no accident. It had been predicted. He showed that he was who he said he was and that he has the power to give eternal life.

Even if the story ended right there, it would be a good one. But there’s more. One day he’s coming back for us! In the meantime, we can live a life of purpose knowing that he loves us and meeting our needs.

What are you afraid of right now? What has you down?

There’s no problem that’s too hard for him!

He can restore dreams. Health. Relationships. Incomes. Hope. You name it, he’s got it covered.

Mostly, he wants to come and live with you. He wants to set up home in your heart and give you a hope beyond your wildest dreams.

Paul had this to say about Jesus’ death on the cross and how it changed his life, “What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.”

Paul realized there was nothing he could do to diminish or gain God’s love for him.

God’s love does not change. Once we accept it, it’s ours forever. It never waxes or wanes, it’s always full, whole and perfect. God is in the process of working everything that has happened in our lives for good. The good, bad and the ugly. Why? Because he knows we can’t do it on our own. Left to ourselves, we’d be miserable and hopeless. Only one person could pay for our sins and solve all of the problems of the world. They nailed him to a cross. Aren’t you glad?

One day last Summer, the point where I turned for home was quickly approaching while jogging the bike path.  However, on this particular day I decided to keep running straight past my turn.  In fact, mentally I decided I was going to run twice as far today.  That’s when it happened.

Immediately, my mind was inundated with thoughts.  Things like, “You have to turn for home, you can’t do it!….”If you keep going, you’ll have to run twice as far than you normally do….”You hurt, there must be something wrong.”  You get the idea.  My body was telling me, don’t do it!

A wonderful lesson began to unfold.  I kept running, straight, past my turning point for home.  Farther away from my destination.  And as I did, guess what happened?  It wasn’t any more difficult than my normal routine.  In fact, I felt twice as good when I ran down the homestretch and crossed the finish line at my driveway.  When all was said and done, I’d ran TWICE as far as my normal routine.  How is that possible?

This is what happened.   When my body began to tell me I couldn’t, something greater began to tell me I could!  Up until that turning point, I’d always listened to my body, but amazing transformations take place when we stop listening to ourselves, and start talking!

I’d like to report that I do respond that way everytime a similar scenario plays out, but sadly, I don’t.  How about you?

What’s the impossible thing you’re facing right now?  What self-limiting beliefs are holding you back?

Is it a lack of confidence?  Finances? Family?  An employer?  What is it?  Maybe it’s time to stop listening and start talking to yourself.  It’s a silly illustration, but one you’ll remember- are you the little engine that can or the little engine that can’t?

The apostle Paul said it this way,”…work out your own salvation…for it is God who works in you…” —Philippians 2:12-13.  It’s not our wills that give us a problem, it’s something smaller than that.  How do I know? Because there is something far greater, working in us, namely God!  As Christians, we want to do God’s will.  We have the power in us, Paul says, we just have to work it out.  God is already doing a perfect job working in you.  Do your part, by using dynamite….that dynamite is obedience to his will.

Lets face it, our bodies lie to us!  They have a mind of their own.  They are like the animal who doesn’t want to work.  They lie and connive.  They cheat and rob us of all that God has for us.  They prefer the path of least resistance.  The only way to master them is to stop listening to them and start talking to them.

This isn’t a ‘no pain, no gain’ post.  Instead it’s an invitation to tune into your greater self and tune out everything that’s telling you it can’t be done, whatever ‘it’ is for you right now.  Chances are there is opposition because what you’re trying to do needs to be done and you’re the only one who can do it!

Just think, you were born at just the right time to be in the position to face the particular challenge you’re facing right now.  So lean into it with faith and stop listening to the opposition.  When you do, you may be surprised to find you’re capable of accomplishing twice as much as you think you can.

I never felt loved by my Great Grandfather. It seemed like I was just a nuisance as a child. I really wanted his love but never sensed I was on the receiving end. I felt like the boy named ‘Sue’ in the Johnny Cash song.

Surely I must be a loser. My mom was ‘poor’. We bought our sneakers in the Supermarket. Then they buried him in the ground and thirty something years went by. Up until a couple of months ago I still couldn’t imagine him caring about me, let alone loving me. I still remember feeling like a total loser because he never had kind words to share that I remember.  I half-hoped he would put out one of his cigarettes on my arm just to acknowledge my presence.

Today I’m reflecting. It’s a random day in my past. It was Summer or early Spring on The Farm. Not just any farm. My mom’s parents owned it and my grandfather’s parents owned it before that.

This particular day I was sitting on the well with my Great Grandfather. It must’ve been near noon. I don’t remember what we talked about, but we sat on edge of the warm tin covering a square section of boards.

Looking back now it was a congregational place. There was a cut off phone pole about six feet high that we used to shimmy up and sit on top of. It was a real good way to get splinters in your forearms. Maybe I went there that particular day because my Great Grandfather did. We called him Je-Je. Like the words jet jet with no t’s.

When I was younger I thought perhaps there was something wrong with him. He never said much. Maybe he’d fallen down and hit his head. Or been in a farming accident, quite possibly kicked in the head by a mule. I don’t know. But in hindsight he taught me something valuable.

I didn’t realize it until this afternoon. It’s Friday and I’m sitting on my back porch looking at the rain drenched yard and listening to the birds sing. Cars are whizzing down the highway out across the river.

Sometimes it’s pleasant to just be.

Satchel page said it this way, “Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.” We’re really good at sitting and thinking, but not many of us are good at just sitting.

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God”. We can sit the Psalmist David writes, because we can trust our Heavenly Father to take care of us.

I’ve never been good at just sitting. Sure, I can sit and think but many people are good at that. So here are some thoughts I’ve developed after waking up at 5:30 a.m every day during the month of March 2017.

Life is good. The steeple of the church where I pastor is falling down. Last week I got the call and we spent 24 hours putting a plan into action. We had to arrange for our old building to be inspected and set up a new place to meet. Finally, we had our initial plan in place. When it was all said and done, I never lost a moments peace about the whole situation. In fact, it allowed me to re-focus. Yes, there were 1,000 different things to do. But I learned to focus on the priorities. Family. Common wisdom said it was time to get into a frenzy.  The Holy Spirit taught me otherwise.  It’s brought my family closer together as well as the church I pastor. They are an amazing team, working together as God does great things in our midst. How could I? Because of the things I’m  while using the nearly 157 extra hours of work- time by getting up 4 or 5 hours earlier each day! That adds up to almost 4 extra 40 hour work weeks each month!  Now, despite doing more than ever, I am experiencing and enjoying a life that is rich and fulfilling. Life is good!

I became a morning person! Actually an all day person! My energy is much higher, sustainable, and ever-ready, due to the new routine. I can rest now at the drop of a hat, but rather enjoy this new boon in the form of greater presence and influence. In the words of Bob Weir, “Even a blind man knows when the Sun is shining”. Say it how you like, ‘Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise’ or ‘the early bird gets the worm’. Carve out times of sufficient rest and every day is like Christmas morning.  People will notice and congregate around you.

You can have a poor start and still have a great ending! Don’t believe it for a minute when people tell you you’ll never amount to anything. This weekend I’m preaching about how God is still in the human raising business. He healed a cripple near the temple and Peter compared the cripple to Christ who went to a bloody cross, was stuffed in a hole in the wall, yet rose again triumphantly. You can be risen with Him! It’s the season of resurrection and renewal. The Tulips have pressed through the soil after a long winter, the grass is flourescent green again and the birds are warbling. Get in on what God wants to do in your life. Don’t wait to do something amazing for your mind, body and spirit. Rest in God. Perhaps He’s looking to gain some glory by using your life to show the world how powerful He really is. He can transform you from the inside out! Trust Him. Lean on Him. Rejoice in Him.

I learned to enjoy ever part of every day. The good and the bad. That’s not being super-spiritual, trust me. It’s the truth. Our lives aren’t just a vapor in the sense that they are short. Sometimes they are really long and the only thing you can do is breath in and breath out. The quality of your life right now is determined by your ability to inhale. No inhalation and you’re done. Ever choked on a Chicken bone? My buddy did out on a river in the early morning hours beneath a starlit sky….all alone, no one to help. Then he dislodged the bone from his throat and was able to inhale again. It’s so easy to wish your life away. It’s so easy to look forward to the day you won’t work anymore. It’s so easy to look forward to the vacation at Disney Land. Then the date comes and goes and you look for something else to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be that way. Wherever you are, you can be all there. Paul said he had learned to be content where ever he is. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Kind of like Heaven on earth if you get my gist.  I can’t be killed, spiritually, because I died 25 years ago on a Spring day in Quaker Springs, N.Y when I gave my life to Jesus.  Everything since then has been a bonus!  Since then I’ve been alive in a whole new way and when I lay down this earthly body, I’ll be more alive than ever!

Of course we could go on and on and riff off this set of chords we’ve laid down. But we won’t.

All I know is that it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Sure it’s very painful at times. Sure we all have bad days, weeks and years. But we don’t have to. Life really is too short to eat our ice cream cones in the pouring rain and cry about it. Why not laugh?

Getting back to the story. Someone I really loved had died. It was Summertime and we were all gathered around the well on the farm (didn’t I tell you it was a place where people congregated?). Anyway we had just come out of the house and we were eating our plates of Cold-cuts and salads (It’s true, 45 minutes after your funeral service, everyone will be eating Potato Salad). Anyway, one of the attendee’s was eating her plate standing-up and she slipped on a Banana peel someone had carelessly tossed on the ground by the well (wasn’t me….o.k, maybe, but it was an accident) we had sat by some many years before. The ‘Slipper’ let out a screech and fell on the ground. Her plate landed all over her, gobs of food were in her hair and I can’t record her words for the sake of privacy and other issues.  Then she laughed out loud.

And then something happened. For one moment all of our eyes were fixed on her and while just an hour before they were fixed on the lifeless body of a loved one, they were now all locked on something electric and comical. There was a pause. Like a flashbulb popping and for just a moment we were all froze in time, together, in the very same place my Great Grandfather had taught me that sometimes the perfect solution is to just rest and enjoy each other’s company!

Sometime before the onset of puberty, I had an imaginary friend.  I asked for extra cookies so that he could have one.  I’m crying as I imagine why any kid would feel like he needs to put others before himself at such a young age.

Hello.  Most of us don’t mind rules, until they affect us personally. It’s so easy to take a stance when it doesn’t involve flesh and blood. Things change when it’s time to think about how topics like divorce flesh out. There are always people with scars and fresh wounds; people who are still searching; people whose future exposure to Christ might be hanging in the balance; people with fragile faith; people who will never embrace the idea of resurrection because something crumby happened to them as a kid.

When you go through the bible, verse by verse, you’re bound to deal with some touchy subjects sooner than later. For example, divorce. This is a major issue today. I’m sure many people you know have  been effected by it’s ramifications somehow. If you’re not careful, you can read what God has to say about this subject and totally misunderstand it, especially based on today’s culture.

Take for instance the phrase, “And no man may separate what God has joined together.” (Mark 10:5-9, TLB). Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce because men’s hearts were hard. If he hadn’t allowed it, there would have been mutiny. How can God be so insensitive? Good question. Here’s the deal.

We live in a time when people can divorce and go on living quite comfortably. It’s not uncommon for women to work today or to remarry.  Then again, there are people in asylums and prisons because their father went out and never came back or their mother felt a sudden need to find somewhere where there wasn’t any pain.  Not always a good recipe, especially for young, developing hearts and minds.

Now rewind the tapes. What if God is against divorce, because He’s for people? Especially women. In New Testament times, women had fewer options. Men fended for their families and women cultivated the home. They trained the children.  Wrapped them in their arms when they fell down and scraped their knee and put a Band-Aid on it. Said kind words.  Listened.  Prayed to God.  Provided nourishing meals and opportunities to reconnect after a long day.   Again, not because they were inferior but because they were important. People have the idea that God hates women and that’s just not true. In fact, He tells husbands to love their wives, like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus provided for his wife (the Church) while he was still alive, to the point of dying for her on a bloody cross and turned over the sheets of soil to get out of the grave.  He was and is the greatest husband who ever lived.  He dealt Death a death blow and hung an “Out of Order” sign on the gates of Hell.  As a Husband, he put the needs and comfort of his wife above his own.

Despite the example of Christ, the idea crept into society that women are dispensible. Not true! For instance, some Rabbi’s allowed that if your wife burned your toast, you could file for divorce. Talk about cowardly Rabbis. Man likes a binding contract until it becomes too hot in the kitchen. Then they usually look for the nearest exit!  Meanwhile, women who were ‘put away’ found themselves tossed out in the streets like trash. They had no rights, position, and worse yet, no income in society. God knew the fate of these women since before the world began and instituted the law against divorce so that it wouldn’t happen. When it did, there was always a wake of wreckage and hurting people. You couldn’t just go out and get a job or marry anyone you wanted to.  In some cases women starved  to death or were forced to make a living however they could, even if it meant stepping outside of ethical boundaries.

Jesus’ teaching on this subject highlights God’s love. It’s not meant to be a curse. The picture it paints is of an All Wise Creator who loves his creation and wants the best for it. The unity between a wife and man was meant to remain intact even if there was a physical separation. If a man left his wife, he was  still supposed to support her and provide for the needs of her and any children. The Pharisees were looking for an escape clause when they brought this topic up, and unlike the lenient Rabbi’s, Jesus wasn’t about to grant one. I don’t know about you, but I can love that kind of God.

That was a huge step forward in that day in age. Other cultures devalued women and made no provisions for their well-being. It was a big deal when Jesus came onto the scene and reaffirmed his Father’s original intentions. And the ramifications of his actions are still in effect today.

The next time you come across something in life that seems like it’s against you, take a few moments to think about how it might be designed to work in your favor. It’s so easy to  be cynical. To get hardened.  To believe everyone is out to get you. To embrace the idea that the world is a cold, horrible, meaningless place. That’s not to say that all rules and regulations are good ones. Or even half good. Man has always done an excellent job of taking God’s loving guidelines and twisting them. But in God’s ways you’ll always discover unimaginable love and comfort.

Do yourself a favor today and  open the prison doors of the people who have hurt you and set them free.  You can let yourself off the hook, but God can and He’s more than glad to when you love and forgive those who need your love and forgiveness.  Before the Dr. hung you upside down and smacked your tush, there stood a bloody cross and a glorious resurrection!  Who are we to exact a penalty that has already been paid in full?  Friday’s gone and Sunday’s coming.  Don’t miss out on Saturday!

“And why did he say that?” Jesus asked. “I’ll tell you why- it was a concession to your hardhearted wickedness. But it certainly isn’t God’s way. For from the very first he made man and woman to be joined together permanently in marriage; therefore a man is to leave his father and mother, and he and his wife are united so that they are no longer two, but one. And no man may separate what God has joined together.” (Mark 10:5-9, TLB).

Now that I’m older I wonder what it must have been like when he went to prison.

I used to play with his brother but I haven’t seen him in years. One year they ganged up on us and stole our Halloween candy….at the end of the night. What kind of kids (I wondered at the time) would lounge about all night while we were out working door to door for FREE candy? Not only the candy, but our pillow cases too! What can I say, we were poor.

Then I heard he was in prison for attempted murder! Can’t imagine what that would be like. New faces and people sizing you up. Talk about a rough first day at school. Can you say MOMMA!?

Here are five things I learned while reflecting on my childhood.

1.The dog was always in the pup. Just waiting to grow up. My Dad brought a puppy home one day and although he was only eight weeks old, he was twice the size of our mongrel Beagle puppies. He also turned out to be twice the dog. But all of the traits were there to begin with, they only blossomed as he got older. He was always a cool puppy, confident, at ease, royal and he was all of those things as a dog.
2. If you want to know your future, just look what’s in your hand. As I grew older, I often wondered why people did the things they did. My grandmother said that even after her death, she still wondered why my grandfather did some of the things he did. You may not know why now, but if you live to be as old as Solomon, you will. Not all at once, but gradually. Like the dawning of the sun, many mysteries will be revealed. They don’t call them the golden years for nothing!
3. The things you don’t like when you’re younger often turn out to be the things you love. Why else would an Olympian train for four years just for a few moments in the limelight? Hard work, patience, perseverance….they all have their rewards. The most expensive thing you can pay is attention! Ditch the distractions and focus on the details. They’re a rare commodity and so is the ability attend to them. Label the key. Read the memo. Rather than asking what it says, determine what it means. You’ll be rewarded nicely.
4. You’ll love the things you love even more so! The old vet used to pull up to the milk house at the farm and it was fun just watching him lather up and get all of his instruments ready. I can still smell his mysterious potions and envision the small bottles of Oxytocin. Even all these years later, nothing takes me back down memory lane like a good dose of country perfume. They were wonderful days, magical days. It was good to be alive and even more so now!
5. Never forget your friends. Billy. Mike. Mark. Johns, Bryan, Jamie (died in a fire!). Marshall. Many are long gone now, but never forgotten and yet only some of my comrades. You’ll never see their names in light, but they will withstand the annals of time. They scraped their knees with me and cried with me and laughed and I am all the richer for them. Some of my greatest treasures will always be the people I love.

I still don’t know where P is, but I wonder. Despite his faults, I really believe he was just a young, mad kid whose Dad went away and never came back. And though he did something he shouldn’t have, I still miss him even thought he beat me up and stole all my candy. Even as I lay here now in bed typing these words I wonder where he is tonight. i wonder if where ever he is he has someone to call friend. And so I’ve decided this post is for P. Wherever you are tonight….if you’re still alive. I love you and I wish I had some more candy so that you could steal it. Because if you really needed it that bad, I’m glad you took it from me.

Many people may not realize it, but there is more to success than just winning. No matter how many wins we have, all of us can be a success. Here is why.

Coach John Wooden tops the list of college basketball coaches with the most NCAA Basketball Championships. Ironically, in Wooden’s mind, being successful as a team was more important than winning.

Most of us don’t separate winning from success. In fact, we equate winning with success. Here is why success more important than winning.

We can’t all win, but we can all be successful.

The truth is we don’t all have the same abilities. Not everyone is an A student. In fact, most of us aren’t.

Not everyone has the same physical capabilities. Although all Goats are animals, not all animals are Goats.  People can win and still not be successful, especially in their own eyes.

Yes, we live in a day and age where everyone is considered equal. But the truth is we are not all equal when it comes to abilities and gifts. Some are given much and some are given little.

For example, Wooden had some great teams. He led eleven of them to NCAA championships. Yet when asked which team he felt was most successful, he named his 1959-1960 team. That team barely broke .500 for the season and ended up with a record of 14-12.

Why then would one of the winningest coaches ever consider them the most successful team he ever led? Because they played the closest to their fullest potential!

Remember, we can’t all win, but we can be successful. That 59-60 team was not championship material, however, what they lacked in ability, they made up for with heart.

To Wooden, what really mattered was not if his team won, but if they gave 100 percent on and off the court.

Success is ‘the wonderful feeling we have when we know we’ve given our all’. -John Wooden

In Wooden’s eyes, the successful players weren’t the most talented ones, successful players were the ones who gave it their all.

In fact, part of the reason his teams won so many championships is because they trained hard and fast during practice. They often made more mistakes on the court because of their speed, but they often won because other teams could not keep up with them. They were so fast, because they had been trained to give their all.

Now think about your own tribe. Imagine if you encouraged those you lead to give their all.

If you’re a Dad, imagine if you taught your children to give their best on and off the court.

Imagine if you encouraged your employees to give their best and rewarded them accordingly.

Imagine if you were the best husband you could possibly be. Yes, that might take some effort and some intentionality, but imagine the rewards.

Imagine if you inspired someone to give their best and they inspired others to do the same!

There is a catch. If we’re going to expect those we lead to give their best, we should give our best.

Specifically, you need an overall plan. You also need to write that plan down. You can’t expect your team, be it family, employees or church members, to perform well, unless they know what is expected of them.

In the words of Andy Stanley, “Every family has a game plan, the problem is nobody knows what it is.

Getting back to you as a leader. You’re not going to give a peak performance unless you take care of yourself. Whatever you do, make sure you put your own oxygen mask on before worrying about those around you.

Find out what fills your tank, and then make a point of doing it.

Find a mentor to pour into you; many of them are excited to share what they’ve learned with you.

Carve out time to pursue your hobbies and dreams.

Read, read, read. Warren Buffet averages 500 pages of reading a day! In fact, the overall consensus is that people who earn the most, read the most.

Eat right, think right, and exercise. Remember, you are a role model. Set a good example for those you lead. As you get healthier and achieve greater success, they will follow your example.

We’ve all felt the disappointment of failure at one time or another. Maybe it was a wasted weekend or a vacation. Perhaps we’ve failed in a relationship or even on the job. Sometimes we may feel like we’ve failed our children or our spouse. There are all kinds of places off the court where there is a potential to fail.  But failing doesn’t have to last forever.

The good news is that we can end the sickening feeling we get when we lose if we simply change our definition of success.

Wooden always told his players to hold their heads up after a game, regardless of the results. He believed if someone were to see one of his team members after a game, they shouldn’t be able to tell who won or lost based on the player’s attitude and body language.

How can we hold our heads up after a loss? We can hold our heads up if we know that regardless of the final score, we gave it our all.

As always, please feel free to leave your comments in the box below!

As you travel through life, you’ll find that some of the simplest strategies are most effective. Here is an example.

A plan isn’t dynamic until it’s written down. 

Let me give an example.

Most of us have a plan, the problem is we haven’t written it down on paper. For example, you may have a plan for your family, but I can almost guarantee you’ve never taken the time to write it down. The result is nobody knows the plan but you. It might be the most brilliant plan ever conceived, but you have to record it so that others have a blueprint.

This important principle occurred to me while working on post grad work. The classes I take require a final project to put in words the lessons learned throughout the semester. While the papers are very time consuming and difficult, they serve a purpose.

Here are some of the benefits:

1. They allow you to go back and refresh your thinking.
2. Others can study and glean what you’ve learned.
3. They serve as a blueprint so that your team can pursue the intended goal.
4. Your plan has the potential to out survive you! Others can read and profit from it long after you are gone.
5. You can go back and tweak your plan without ‘reinventing the wheel’.

These are just some of the benefits. I’m sure you can come up with even better ones. If you do, please be sure to share them in the comments section.

Plans are nothing new. Jesus himself said, “For which of you, wanting to build a tower, doesn’t first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?” Jesus realized the importance of doing research before starting a project. In the words of an unknown author, “A failure to plan is a plan to fail.”

One of the things that sets great leaders apart from leaders in general is that they realize the importance of putting their thoughts on paper.

For instance, a friend I grew up with was a contractor’s daughter. There was one rule if she wanted to build something. The first thing she had to do was draw a picture of her intended project. Only after she had done so, would her father buy the materials to build. That’s a great lesson for all of us!

Rather than rehashing your thoughts everyday about your intended project, what if you took a couple of minutes or hours and put them on paper? Better yet, why not record them in a document on your computer? If you did, you would be taking a step many people never do.

One prophet in the Old Testament came to understand the power of this principle. Habakkuk writes, “The LORD answered me: write down this vision; clearly inscribe it on tablets so one may easily read it” Habakkuk 2:2.

Habakkuk, you see, was living during perilous times and the future seemed so uncertain that God told him to record the description of a better future to encourage him during the days between. Preserving a copy of your preferred future allows you to persevere when trials come. It ensures that you will be encouraged in the days to come as well as the team you lead.

Some people lamented that Walt Disney never lived to see Disney World, until someone came along and reminded them that Disney had indeed seen it despite his death.

Maybe it’s your Last Will and Testament that needs to be recorded. Imagine if you died today and there was no plan in place for spouse and/or children? I realize not many of us want to think about that, but it needs to be addressed.

One pastor friend I know wrote a book for each of his children to give to their future spouses. In it he recorded bits and pieces of their lives as well as their likes and dislikes. Unlike many others, their spouses had something a whole lot more reliable to depend on than trial and error.

How about an autobiography? It may never get published, but your future family might enjoy it. Now that I’m older, I have lots of questions I would have loved to ask my grandparents. It may even just be in the form of a personal journal.

Which leads us up to journaling? Admittedly, I’ve only dabbled with this for years, other than blogging the last two years. However, I still believe it has the potential to be life changing for some. You could even make a template on your computer or write one out to reference while you write on paper.

Questions might include

What was my biggest win yesterday?

What did I learn?

What are three things I’d like to accomplish today?

Are there any areas I’ve been neglecting?

What have I been learning from the scriptures?

Of course these are just some ideas to get you started.

Your plan and/or strategy may even become a book one day. Stranger things have happened. Personally, as a creative writer, everything I save on my computer stands to be a potential work. You never know, but the things you write today may be a seed for a larger work in the future!

With that thought in mind, always think of your initial writings and ideas as rough drafts. At first, just focus on writing the bare bones. For example, if you’re writing a blog post, just write down some of your key thoughts and flesh them out as you go along. This will alleviate writer’s block and help you overcome the inertia of staring at a blank page.

Next, file your final rough draft in the drawer for a day or two before rereading it and correcting mistakes and adding to it. In the meantime, your subconscious will go to work and make the process much easier when you write your final draft.

Beware of perfection. Everything worth developing in life takes time and effort. Your first attempts may be lack luster, but with time that will change.

In the meantime, while you’re working out the cobwebs in your thinking and writing, make time to regularly think about your future and write your thoughts down on paper. As someone once said, “The weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory.”

Ultimately, writing is a lever that makes the hard lifting of thinking a whole lot easier for you and those you lead.

Sooner or later, you are going to feel unloved. Here’s what to do if you ever do.

Everyone has a favorite subject and it’s not English! It’s themselves. Most people you meet are tuned into W.I.F.M FM otherwise known as ‘what’s in it for me?’

I recently talked with someone who had someone do them a ‘favor’. My friend needed a custom made detail for his new home. One of his friends volunteered to supply the lumber and do the work as long as my friend assisted him. Before the first board was even selected, his friend reminded him how much the lumber would cost to buy and even stated up front that he was expecting some kind of return in the future!

While it’s easy to laugh at this kind of story, we’re all guilty from time to time. While we may not verbalize our thoughts to the people we help, the insinuation is as clear as day.

Now to take this full circle and bring it back to feeling unloved. If you are unloving to others, don’t expect to be loved in return. Unfortunately, that’s the way it works in this world.

I promise, if you haven’t already, you’ll have a season where you expect every one to come knocking on your door. Call it a pity party or whatever else you want. But it will happen. Remember, it’s human nature. But you don’t have to be unprepared when that day comes.

Imagine if you went to work this week and did nothing but sit and wait for pay day. It might work for George Costanza on Seinfeld, but the truth is you’d probably be fired before the week is over. Why? Because you have entered a spoken or unspoken contract with your employer. You will produce a product, and in return you will receive a paycheck.

It’s not a lack of love on your employer’s part, right? It’s because of the contract. You’ve both made an agreement.

The danger of feeling unloved and expecting love is that you stop loving until your needs are met. You see it all the time.

A spouse will go out of their way to meet the needs of their spouse because their needs are being unmet.

An employee stops going the extra mile for their boss because they haven’t received a raise in two years.

Your child stops obeying because their closet door hasn’t shut properly for two years but she watches you keep up on all of your projects.

A friend never calls anymore because they haven’t heard from you in 6 months.

When relationships go South it’s usually because someone’s needs are not being met.

So how do you keep your loved ones from feeling unloved? The truth is sometimes it is very difficult. However, one way is to find out what their needs are and meet them.

Meanwhile, while loving others is a constant job and you’re not always guaranteed success, you can take control of how loved you feel.

The way you do that is to love others, especially the unloveable.

Now that doesn’t mean you should neglect your own needs. That’s not healthy and it’s a good way to destroy your mind, will and emotions.

Jesus said it this way, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” Matthew 22:37-40.

Notice the command is simply to love without any kind of payback.

But there’s more. Earlier on, Jesus says, “Give your gifts in private, and your Father who sees everything, will reward you” Matthew 6:4. Does Jesus mean to suggest that if we do something publicly, we’ll lose out on our reward?

Jesus is revealing a simple yet profound truth. We don’t need to hang onto our rights and expect payment if God is our heavenly Father. That’s the way most people respond, especially children, but we don’t need to.

The day we realize just how loved we are, we stop expecting love and simply begin to love more. God pays particular attention to people who depend on him for their own needs and go around looking to meet unmet needs.

However, don’t go out and meet the needs of everyone and their brother if you’re not meeting the needs of those in your closest inner circles.

The people closest to you are in your life for a reason and there is never a good reason to overlook their needs, especially if they appear to be unloveable.

Imagine if everyone was a good neighbor, not just to the people next door, but to the people in the same house!

My grandmother used to always tell us kids that we’d be sorry someday for mistreating our siblings and other family members. How did she know? From her own experience.

While you’re at it, remember that the type of love talked about in the bible is not an emotion. It’s an action. Warm, fuzzy feelings sell a lot of Hallmark cards, but people can’t see how you feel about them until you show them.

So what if instead of trying to be a best friend to everyone in the world, you focused on your family?

It may be in the form of a phone call to let them know you are thinking of them the next time you are working.

It might mean finishing one of the jobs you started on the ‘honey do’ list. Or it may mean starting a job that’s been waiting.

You could start a college fund for your daughter. Don’t wait until you’ve got a lot saved, if you do, you may never start.

Bring home some flowers.

Volunteer to help your son with his homework.

The truth is we all can get so busy trying to save the world that we have no energy for the most important people in our lives. In the meantime, if every one would take care of their own, it’d be a lot nicer world. And if you’re wondering about the people in the world who have no family or friends, always remember God cares a lot more about them than you or I ever will. Should we make it a priority to help them? Absolutely, but not at the expense of those who God has entrusted to our immediate care.

“But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers” 1 Timothy 5:8