“Judy, we don’t smoke anymore!”, my friend told his wife 50 something years ago.

Up until that time they’d both smoked about a pack a day.  However, my friend decided that needed to change.  While I don’t necessarily agree with his deciding for both himself and his wife, I do believe it was a wise choice.  They never smoked another cigarette in their lifetimes.

So what’s your future look like?  Do you believe things are going to change, or are your expectations low?  If you’re going to win, you need to begin preparing now. Here’s how to start.

When I first thought about pursuing a Doctorate, I was often discouraged because it was so easy to imagine failure. The work would be too hard. I wouldn’t have time. I’d miss a deadline. In an instant, everything I’d worked for would crumble in an instant. Ultimately, I’d fail out of the program. Sound familiar?

Lets face it, the things you envision tend to come true. So if you want to win, you have to start by deciding what that’s going to look like. In the words of a poet, “This is all a daydream we dreamed long ago.” In most cases, you began the journey to your current location and vocation years ago. So if you envision yourself doing something different in the future, you have to start picturing what that looks like today.

The problem is, there are real and imagined enemies, between you and your dreams!

Meanwhile….Challenge+Action Plan= Success!

That’s right, there are many imaginary enemies you have to defeat, let alone real ones, but you can do it. My brother and I went camping with my Dad when we were kids and we were thoroughly convinced there was a Bear outside the tent the entire night. We saw his shadow and heard him. In reality it was just my Dad and his buddy talking late into the night around the campfire.  Even as grownups, it’s easy to imagine there are Bears outside our tents.

Meanwhile, challenges aren’t unique to only you, we all face them. The good news is 9 out of 10 fears coming down the road toward us, end up in the ditch. Likewise, the fanged enemies we do end up coming face to face with are toothless by the time they reach us. There’s always a Cyclops between you and your dreams, you just have to figure out what it looks like to overcome him. Call it mental preparation, psyching yourself up…whatever works for you. You can achieve success but only after you take the time to size up your challenge and develop a game plan.

Nevertheless, before you’re ready to conquer your real enemies, you have to defeat your imaginary ones. Kids do it all the time. They have no problem imagining themselves overcoming their enemies. In fact, they all see themselves as the good guy overcoming evil. A stick becomes a sword and they conquer their enemy every time, single handedly. Things change as they get older.

As we age, we lose our imagination. It seems like most of us start out brave, but after a few setbacks, we lose heart. Before you know it, we’ve lost our ability to envision success. Is it any wonder we don’t succeed?

Here are some tips for reimagining your future.

First, Consider David.  What separated David from his contemporaries was his ability to envision success. Call it what you want, faith, confidence, the results are the same. Stepping up to face Goliath was as natural as breathing for David. He had spent years out in the fields fighting enemies both real and imagined. In fact, when he talked with King Saul he talked about how he had struck a marauding lion and a bear at the same time and then killed them, while watching his flocks by night. Then when it’s time to face Goliath, the same chain of events happen. David unleashes his slingshot and strikes Goliath in the forehead with a stone. He then slays him with a sword, Goliath’s own sword, in fact. Hmmmm….a coincidence? I don’t think so. When Goliath’s companions witnessed his death, they fled. Face your greatest fear and your smaller ones will flee the scene too!

Second, Challenge+Action Plan= Success.  Focus on the results and nothing will change. Focus on the changes that need to take place and you’ll achieve your results.

Three, Get radical. Radical change leads to radical results. If you take the slow road, it’s going to take you longer to get there every time. The bible emphasizes quick change. We’re to take off our old garments and put new ones on. For most people, changing clothes doesn’t take a week, it happens in a matter of minutes. Stop envisioning failure and start imagining success.

Four, Inflate yourself and deflate your enemy. David’s father, brothers and even the King himself, discouraged him. Not only that, they emphasized Goliath’s greatness and size! Good thing David didn’t listen. If you ignore those who would discourage you and trust God, you can achieve the unimaginable.

Five. Get rid of fear and start living by faith. The scriptures state “the just shall live by faith” (4x). If the bible says something once, it’s enough. When it says the same thing four times, you can be sure it means business. In the world we live in, it’s easy to imagine the sky is falling. The only antidote is faith. Rather than Fearing Everything and Running, Face Everything And Rise. What does that look like? It looks like you imagining yourself doing great things, not failing.

Six, Play the movie of what it looks like to succeed. Michael Phelps does before every race and it shows. He even imagined what it would look like to win if his goggles fell off as he was nearing the finish line. They did, eventually, and he still won the race.

I’ve often wondered what God meant when he said that David was a man after his own heart. I’m beginning to think that God meant David possessed from his youth the ability to easily imagine himself coming out on top with God’s power. I very well may be wrong. However, there’s no denying the fact that David had mountain moving faith! If it’s impossible to please God without faith, it follows that God’s heart sings when he watches us walk by faith despite our circumstances.

Goliath, on the other hand, was also confident and no doubt had a difficult time envisioning defeat. The difference is, unlike David, Goliath’s faith was in his own strength and abilities, not God’s! The rest is history.

If you’re working on an advanced degree, imagine what it’s going to look like to walk across the stage on graduation day. Better yet, imagine how good you’re going to feel when your achieve your accomplishment.

Is there an area you’ve been imagining failure? What does the reverse look like? It may be your career, your marriage, your relationship with your children. Fear will paralyze you. Stop worrying about how you’re going to lose your job, your wife and your kid and start thinking about what it looks like to win. Take the steps necessary to avoid that type of outcome. Imagine yourself retiring with a sense of accomplishment with your wife at your side and your grown kids celebrating with you. David struck his fears head on and slew them and so can you!

In an ideal world, you would get along with everyone you meet. But as you know, that’s not always the case. Here’s what I’m finding helpful these days.

Maybe it’s a boss or a relative, or maybe a neighbor or someone else close to home that is hard to love at times. Today, these people are often referred to as E.G.R’s or Extra Grace Required people. Maybe, just maybe, that phrase instantly rings a bell and you’re picturing that person right now. Try as you might, when you see them coming down the hall at work, you look for a side door to escape.

At times, it may even seem that God surrounds you with a bunch of these porcupine people! They’re not just in the workplace, but at the super market, in the line for gas, on the school board, in the locker room and sometimes even in your home!

Or, if you’re not the person who has a hard time getting along with everyone, you know someone who does. We all know at least one Grinch who hates everyone and is very vocal about it. Guess what? If they talk poorly about everyone they know, they also talk poorly about you when you’re not around. Kind of a bummer, yes, but true. Intuitively, you’ve probably already know that. The fact is, when everyone else is a jerk, in most cases, you’re the jerk.

If you’re lost, let me explain. These days, when I have a hard time extending grace to those who need it, I immediately remind myself how much grace I need myself.

Grace by definition is a free, unmerited favor. Something you get although you’ve done nothing to deserve it. We see it in Jesus and the price he paid on the cross for us. He died for us before we were ever born, not because we were good, but because he knew we would need forgiveness. He didn’t punish us to make us better. No, he took the punishment himself and forgave us and that’s what makes us better.

When I’m cruel to those who are cruel to me, that doesn’t help them or make them better. It starts a vicious cycle. It’s like the proverbial dog who chases its tail. Rather than harming those who harm me, my best recourse is to treat them the way Jesus treats me on a daily basis. I need to treat them the way I would want to be treated if I were in their shoes.

This includes our spouses. It’s so easy to note all of our spouses personal flaws and overlook our own. However, these days when I find myself being critical of others, I’m learning to look in the mirror and remember my own need for grace and mercy.

Right about now, if you’re feeling bad about yourself, remember this,  God loves you and there’s nothing you can do to make him love you any more. Likewise, there’s nothing you’ve done that will make him love you any less!

If there’s anything you’re doing to earn his love and acceptance, stop! While grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning. Rather than doing more for God, it’s time to start doing less if you’re doing what you’re doing to earn his favor, rather than to express your thankfulness.

I used to think being a Christian was all about how much I gave or read the bible or went to church.  While these disciplines are important, they are to be an expression of my love for God, not a measure of how much he loves me.  For example if I miss church or a time in the morning reading his word or I’m ugly with my wife, it’s so easy to start believing God doesn’t love me that much.  I’ve heard it said that ‘religion is all about what you do, and Christianity is about what has been done’. Taking that a bit further, if you ever get to the point where you think being a Christian is all about what you do, you’re done.

So who have you been denying grace while expecting grace from them in return? What if you decided to extend grace not only to them, but every one you meet?

Extending grace to those who don’t deserve it is not only a Christ like thing to do, it’s also the grown up thing to do. Maybe the person you’re dealing with doesn’t know how to be kind to people who mistreat them because they’ve never been treated that way themselves. Maybe their whole life has been spent trying to earn love and acceptance. Perhaps they started young and believed they had to be a good son or daughter to earn their parents love.

According to the world we live in, everything has to be earned. The world says you have to earn love, you earn money, you earn a degree, you earn a title.  There’s no denying the importance and value of all these efforts.  However, if you reflect, you’ll realize that you can’t work hard enough to earn all of the things you have. For instance, how do you work to earn oxygen, or good looks, or health, or our children? Though we often take these things for granted, they are priceless! There’s nothing you can do to earn them, they’re free gifts.  God loans them to us to enjoy and treasure, not because we deserve them, but because he is soooo good!

In reality, we’re all E.G.R people! We sin, just as easily as water rolls off a ducks back. We are not perfect, especially if we’re trying to be. What we really are, is people who not only need to extend grace, but people who need grace….on a daily basis, moment by moment, hour by hour. The good news is that it is available through Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross some two thousand years ago. You don’t have to wait to receive it next week or next year.  He is alive and well and extending it each moment.  There’s nothing you can do to earn it. You simply receive it and share it with others. So what are you waiting for?

We all pride ourselves on what we’ve learned, but few of us know how to learn. Let me explain. It may have never occurred to you, but you’ve inherited your approach to learning from others, especially teachers.  Here is a technique that will make learning fun and exciting for you and those you teach.

Like a dancer who responds to the motions of their partner, as learners we doc e doe with our teachers. The goal in most cases is to remember everything they teach relying solely on rote memorization. In the meantime, we often miss out on the principles behind the lessons and how it all ties together. Like the one student told his teacher who bumped into him in the hall, “Don’t touch me, Doc! I’ve been cramming all night and I don’t want anything to leak out!”.

This type of learning isn’t much fun. In fact, not much learning is taking place at all. The information that is memorized for tests is soon forgotten once the final exam is complete. There’s a better way and here it is.

Take the information you learn and weave it into what you already know. For example, Jesus taught Peter how to become a fisher of men in Luke 5. How did he do it? By building on what Peter already knew as a professional fisherman. In effect, Jesus said, “Peter, the principles required to reach others for me are very similar to the ones used to catch fish with a net.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it, but most of us have no clue how to fish with a net. Sure we get the general idea, but like any other craft, there are fine nuances and techniques.  Today we fish with fishing poles. There’s a difference. Why did Jesus teach as he did in this particular instance? He was using the things Peter already knew as a foundation to teach him something new.

In another instance, Jesus said that reaching others for him is like looking for a lost coin. The householder lights a candle and sweeps the entire house until she finds what she’s looking for. And when she does, she rejoices and calls her friends, Jesus said.  See Luke 15.

While people today do look for lost things, they no longer have to light a candle, they just hit the switch. Therefore, while the lessons Jesus taught are just as relevant as ever, as a teacher you have to think of new and creative ways of presenting them. For example, how would you explain soul winning to a group of factory workers? Kindergartners? If you want to teach like Jesus did, you have to share your lesson in such a way that people can understand it based on their own personal experience. And if you want to learn, a great way is to relate what you’re learning to what you already know.

This type of learning is also great because it allows you to tie ideas together based on what you already know. Therefore, it’s easier to remember new information.

For example, lets say you had to remember five new things. What if you were to visualize the route you take to work each day, in particular, five landmarks along the way. Now, place each piece of information at each spot along your journey, in your mind.

Create whatever visualization it takes to remember the information. In fact, the sillier your pictures, the more memorable.

At the end of the day, it’s amazing how many subjects are related. You may not understand Calculus, but maybe you’ve mastered music. As you learn Calculus, think about how it relates to the lessons you’ve learned about music.

These are just some examples to get you thinking. You do whatever it takes for you to make learning enjoyable and memorable. The true test of IQ is not what you know, but how fast you’re able to learn. Study different ways and find out what’s most effective. Maybe you’re a visual learner or an audio learner, knowing your style will help you advance faster. Better yet, combine as many senses as you can when learning something new. The more senses you use, the more likely you are to remember what you’ve learned.

In Luke 5 Jesus told Peter, “Fear not, from henceforth thou shalt catch men.”  What Jesus was telling Peter is, “Look, this is a high water mark for you.  Things are going to be different from here on out after this lesson.  You didn’t just leave the shore like every other time, you launched out into something new!”.

Then, years later, after Peter had caught many fish, he said this, “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you” (1 Peter 5:10).  That word perfect is katartizo and it means to mend, make whole, complete.  Kind of like a net with holes in it.  In Luke 5 Peter and others were cleaning their nets.  Jesus told them it was time to use the nets and the nets even broke according to verse 6, due to their miraculous catch of fish.  So why would Jesus command the disciples to use their nets if he knew they were going to be broken?

The point is, like the nets we use, Jesus allows us to be broken for his glory to show us and others that he is able to mend us!  No broken nets, no mending.  Now as Peter reflects on the goodness of God, he is once again overwhelmed by the magnificent grace of God.  The strength, Peter realizes, to work for God is not his own, but a free gift.  Yes, Peter must exercise in his own power, but ultimately, God is in that power from beginning to end.  He is both the source and the finisher.  Our only responsibility is to drop the nets, it is God’s responsibility to fill them!

Paul had this to say to his student Timothy about the importance of teaching, “Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.  And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also” 2 Timothy 2:1-2.  You have all the resources to teach because of the grace of God, Paul says.  So teach others, who teach others, and the cycle continues.

In both of these examples, there is one common thread.  Peter emphasizes the importance of grace and so does Paul.  Therefore, it is obvious that many if not all good teachers wrestle with a sense that they are unworthy to teach due to their own failure and sins.  How about you?  Do you often feel undeserving?

The next time you feel incapable of learning or teaching, remind yourself of the goodness and grace of God.  We are all unworthy in our own measure, however, because of the manifest grace of God, we can learn and grow.  In fact, when you grow to a certain point, teaching- or sharing with others what you’ve learned- is a natural result or by product.

What circumstances in your life has God been using to teach you?  When Jesus wanted to teach Peter how to be a leader of men, he used Peter’s natural affinity for fishing to show him what that looked like.  When Paul was equipping Timothy -who apparently felt unworthy- he reminded him that unless he received the grace of God, he could not multiply himself in others.  Again, if you’re facing a feeling of unworthiness, maybe, just maybe, God wants you to see the holes in your net so that he can mend you.  Have fun fishing!

What if you wanted to get to the other side of the canyon and the bridge was blown up?

We often think of learning as mountain climbing. With this minset, it’s hard to get started. First you have to climb the mountain and then you get to the summit. Up there it’s easy and it’s effortless to descend on the other side.

But if you really think about it, it’s more like a ravine. It’s easy to get started, then you plateau and there’s a climb to the finish.

Yes, you can glide across, but you’re not going to learn much. Yes, you could build a bridge, but who really has the time? Besides, you’re not looking to get back to where you are now. Your path keeps moving forward beyond. So you have to do what most people are unwilling to do. You have to walk through the vallley, knowing full well there may be muck and mire to tread through. Real learning is hard work. No ifs ands or buts. It’s easy to get down into the valley, but many won’t venture because they know there’s only one way out once they do and that requires sweat.

So what if you look at the muck and mire as part of the package and decide to risk blowing up your life anyway. That would be foolish. True faith requires risk, but that doesn’t mean risk that isn’t calculations. Even Wile E. Coyote had enough sense to put his designs to capture the Road Runner on paper. They never worked, but it’s still a good idea.

Blowing Up Your Life and the C.O.G

Instead of blowing up your life, what if you looked at your next venture as an experiment. For example, you could experiment with growing your organization by 10% in the next month, or learning a new skill such as Calligraphy or C.A.D. Rather than looking at it as something to be feared, what if you decided it’s just an experiment. But not just any experiment, an ultra- experiment. Which means you’re going to do the hard work of getting down into the ravine and getting out the other side, mud, mire and all. Maybe you’re not burned out right now, just under challenged.

Yes, growth will cost you, but the rewards are worth it. Your discipline and dedication may keep you from doing all of the things you’d like to do right now, but discipline will help you do in the future what can’t be achieved by simply trying. No amount of trying compares to discipline.

If you don’t pay the cost of growth now, you’ll pay later in the form of regret. As Henry Cloud says, ‘Pay now, play later or play now and pay later’.

Now, back to going through the ravine. The reason people don’t like to get down into the mess is because they think it’s going to take too much time and energy. For many people, the thought of spending 4 years in pursuit of a degree or 6 months studying a subject is too long. In some cases it may be. So why not focus on just 4-6 weeks? Remember, it’s just an experiment. For example, you can decide to teach yourself a subject for the next 4-6 weeks. There are plenty of free and/or inexpensive resources online and at the library.

Or you could decide to talk with every expert you know on the subject. That’s faster in some cases because someone can be a very wise thinker and not be able to put their thoughts on paper.

Whatever you do, you’ll need three things.

A goal.  Decide what you want to learn ahead of time. Be specific. I want to learn three ways to effectively reach my community with the gospel is specific. I want to learn more about Evangelism is not so specific.

Next, you need a strategy. I’m going to read 6 books on Evangelism is specific. I’m going to read some books on Evangelism is not so specific. Your plan will only work if you work your plan and a failure to plan is a plan to fail.

Action. The best plan is just some words on a piece of paper unless you implement it. I’m going to spend 1 hour each night researching is specific. I’m going to read a little bit every night is not.

If you’re going to learn, you’re going to have to go through the muck and the mire. There are lions and tigers and bears out there and wishful thinking doesn’t just make them go away. No, you don’t have to blow up your life in the process. Take 1 class rather than three each semester if taking more is going to have a negative impact on your marriage. But whatever you do, realize ahead of time it is going to cost you. Growth does not come free but it’s worth every effort.

What ultra-experiment are you considering and what difficulties, risks and costs do you see in your future? Please comment below and I’ll do my best to respond to as many people as possible.

As a leader, you probably want your team to grow. By getting bigger, you automatically assume you will be able to accomplish more and see greater returns on your investment. But what if focusing on bigger numbers really isn’t the answer?

While you may see numerical growth as a worthy goal, chances are many of the people you lead may not. They envision that type of growth as something that will make you less available. Right now, they can reach you when they have to. They fear growth for many reasons and one of them is that it will create distance between you and them.  You’ll no longer be accessible.

They also have fears about becoming just a number. Right now you know them by name and make time to connect with them. If more people come along, they reason, they’ll be just another face in the crowd.  Just another number.  Nobody wants to be just another number.

So do you have to give up your dream of leading a large organization? No. In fact, many leaders of large organizations are beginning to rethink growth. Yes, they still want to grow and recognize the need to do so. However, what they are realizing is that in order to grow big, you have to think small.

More precisely, you have to think big and small. For example, you have to take care of your whole body. But if you neglect the small parts, the results can be deadly. Why? Because both big and small work together. Without properly functioning members, the whole body is less healthy. The point being, individual members need personal attention and care. The best way for them to get the care they need is in intimate settings. So it’s o.k. to think big, but in the process, don’t overlook the details.  Don’t forget people still long for opportunities to connect with others socially.

Hitting more close to home, think about your personal development for a minute. You’re to be congratulated for taking care of yourself and making healthy choices. But what I’ve seen in my own personal experience is that people can get so focused on themselves that it wreaks havoc on the people they care about most. Kudos to you for taking your health to the next level, but in your zeal to improve, don’t forget your family. Having said that, is there a particular area in your life that is in need of repair?  Is there a friend you’ve lost contact with in your flurry of activity?

When you take time to make small repairs, your whole life improves.  Sometimes it only takes a phone call, or a conversation over a cup of coffee. If you’re especially driven, these types of things may seem like a waste of time. If that’s the case, learn how to waste time. God can use what you think is a waste of time to impact people. Again, if you want to have impact, you have to have intimacy.

Model intimacy with those you lead. If you’re a Mom, this means your children and spouse. Don’t get so busy that you don’t carve out time to connect with your loved ones. Relationships thrive on both quality and quantity time. Is there a particular family right now who needs your attention?  You may have the nicest lawn in town, Dad, but your kids could care less, especially if in the process of maintaining it, you’re neglecting them.

You don’t have to wait until you’re bigger to grow.  Maybe you’re discouraged right now because you’re organization or family is not growing. You don’t have to wait until you have 1,000 people following you to be a great leader. Invest in the relationships you already have. “Do not despise the day of small things” (Zechariah 4:10). All healthy large organisms are a conglomeration of small, properly functioning units. Growth is not just about numbers and you don’t need numbers to pursue it. Invest in what you have and God will give you more.

When you study the life of Jesus you see this principle in action. Yes, he drew large crowds many times throughout his ministry. However, as influential as he was, he often made time for up-close, personal, interactions. In fact, it’s likely that his ability to impress people up close impacted his effectiveness with the crowds.  You’ll have no large fire unless you take time to kindle a small one.

Jesus not only spent time with large crowds and individuals, he also spent time with small groups. The last three to three and a half years of his life he primarily spent time with twelve individuals. They ate together, traveled together, played together, cried together and more. Talk about intimate, intentional leadership. When all was said and done, his small band of followers were equipped to turn the world upside down.

If you were honest, in your pursuit to grow more influential, have you started focusing on the big things and neglecting the small? In particular, is there a relationship that needs watering? You’re not alone. In the corporate world we live in it’s so easy to get focused on the macro at the expense of the micro. So if you want to grow, don’t just think big or small, think both.

When I think of pain, I think of an accident I had while ice fishing two years ago. Before I share that story, here’s a principle you may find helpful if you’re hurting right now. When it comes to pain, think seasons, not sessions. Let me explain.

One minute I was warning my buddies how slippery the ice was because there was about 3 inches of water on top of it. The next minute my feet went out on me and I had a complete garage sale in a matter of seconds and was sprawled out on my back wondering if I was still alive! Somehow my buddies were able to keep from laughing while I laid in the water for about a minute like a turtle on its back. All of my gear was sprawled out like cargo from a plane crash. I felt as though I’d just been in one.

Of course I managed to fish the rest of the day, but by the time I hobbled off the ice at the end of the day, I knew something was seriously wrong. A trip to the Emergency room confirmed my diagnosis. Cracked ribs.

No big deal. Until you realize there’s nothing you can do to get comfortable. Whatever you do, you learn not to sneeze. The problem is your ribs heal very slowly because your lungs constantly move them when you breathe. I laid on the couch for about ten days, dreading every movement. Although the acute pain went away after a couple of weeks, it was still difficult to sleep for about ten months and I still experience numbness in my left foot and left leg and back from time to time.

The pain I experienced didn’t go away after a session of fervant prayer. It didn’t go away after a trip to the Emergency Room. It didn’t go away after a couple of weeks on the couch. Why not? Because sessions are never an instant cure. Sure they can add up to healing. But in all honesty, healing takes more than one or two sessions of anything.

In fact, sessions can take the form of the quick cure. Without getting to poetic, lets just say that while many things can be fixed quickly, pain isn’t one of them. Yes, you can medicate and numb it for a while, but it’s still going to come creeping back until it runs its course. So much for the quick cure.

Before you go thinking sessions are bad things, they’re not. Sessions are good things. They can add up to great results and be an all together wonderful experience….healthy ones that is. However, rather than expecting instant results, you’re better off thinking long-term. That’s where seasons come into play.

When you think seasons, think 3 months or longer. For example, while the seasons in the Northeast are usually somewhat predictable and regular, that hasn’t been the case this year. We had about 6 months of Sprinter, earlier in the year. During this time, it wasn’t quite Spring and it wasn’t quite Winter, it was a combination of the two. While you may laugh, seasons in your life can be just as long and unchartable. That’s why it’s so important to think seasons and not sessions. Otherwise, you’ll be tempted to quit before real healing takes place.

Which leads us up to this question. Who are you talking with about your pain? Notice I presumed you’re talking with someone. There’s a reason why. The reason is you cannot reach your full potential as a leader unless you have someone to help. You can call them what you want, a teacher, coach, counselor. The point is find someone if you haven’t already. In fact, I’d even be willing to wager that Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel have at least one person to talk to if not more. So what makes you think you can do it on your own?

As a pastor, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone want to make a change. Some of them want it so bad, they’re willing to take whatever course of action is necessary to get better. Then, after a short period of time and not attaining the result they want instantly, they drop out of the race and go back to where they started. Usually in worse condition than when they started.

Then there are others. They too follow your advice. However, unlike the drop outs, they persist. After a while, you don’t even have to ask them how they’re doing because you can see the difference in their lives and attitudes. Yes, they still stumble and fall from time to time, but they always get back up and keep running. They are the righteous men and women who though they fall seven times, they persist.

So what are you waiting for? Find someone and get the conversation going about your healing. Ask if they’ll meet with you once a month for six months to a year and start meeting with them. While you’re at it, find a church and a pastor who will love and encourage you. Attend their weekly services and start getting your life back. And remember, when it comes to pain, think seasons and not sessions.

You’ve worked hard all year, and now it’s time to take a break….the question is, what makes a great vacation? After all, you only have a limited amount of time and you want to make the most of it. We’re glad you asked!

Taking a vacation doesn’t have to be difficult. A vacation can be an amazing part of your year….a time to recharge and make great memories with friends and loved ones.

The problem is, the human experience doesn’t go away just because you have a week’s worth of free time. Let me explain. Just because you have a week off, it doesn’t mean your marriage is going to improve if it’s been on the rocks awhile. This applies to every area, including personal debt, health, spirituality, fitness, etc. It’s great, that you have a week off, but if you’ve let the chickens out during the last year, be sure they’re going to come home and roost!

Maybe by now, you’re not so excited about your upcoming vacation because there are issues you’ll have to deal with. Relax, there’s hope. You can still have a great vacation. In fact, it can still be your best vacation yet. Here are some tips to help. But first, a bit of wisdom.

The scriptures say, “Go to the ant, you slacker! Observe its ways and become wise. Without leader, administrator, or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food during harvest.” Before you get all out of sorts about the slacker bit, think about what the writer in Proverbs 6:6-8 is saying. Although you lack wisdom, it’s yours for the taking if you’ll take time to take ONE small step.

If you’re thinking about stopping for an extended period of time, it MAY do you some good to stop beforehand. Look before you leap. Huge change doesn’t happen over night, it’s a result of lots of baby steps. Ants are tiny, but they are able to do great works over a period of time, by carrying out small, simple tasks on a daily basis. By the way, a slacker is someone who avoids pain. We all get that. Most people prefer comfort and pleasure. Let’s be honest. Those aren’t bad things. Beware: don’t allow yourself to gravitate toward ease and the path of least resistance. It’s easy to stop doing difficult things that will improve not only the quality of your own life, but the life of others.

1) GREAT VACATIONS DON”T HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT, SO MAKE A PLAN A failure to plan is a plan to fail. Sit down with a cup of coffee, some paper and a pen. (Yes, paper!). There’s just something about writing things down. Now, write down 5 or 10 things you’d like to do on your vacation. If you’re planning on a stay- cation, still take the time to make a list. The weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory.

2) DON’T LET A LACK OF FINANCES BE AN ISSUE You’re not taking a break to spend money, you’re taking a vacation to spend TIME. You can have just as much fun at the local public beach as you can in California. Your wish list might include visiting an old friend. Do some gardening, complete an unfinished product, meet with a spiritual mentor, etc. Write down whatever comes to mind, you can always edit later. The list doesn’t mean that you have to do everything on it. At this point, you are brainstorming.

3) PUT YOUR PLAN ON PAPER! You don’t have to stress and work on it for your entire vacation, but you can take an ant step. For instance, if it’s personal debt, plan on taking a book out from the library that will educate you. Plan on meeting or talking with someone who seems to have their financial act together, over coffee. Balance your checkbook. Look at your bills and identify needs and luxuries. You get the idea.

The key is balance! Too much of a good thing can be a not so good thing and this includes vacations. Scrap your fitness routine for a week and you’ll see what I mean. Sleep in every day until noon and you’ll understand. Go on a drinking binge and eat fast food every meal….Ignore your relationships. You get the idea. Disrupting a routine you’ve worked hard to establish will derail your growth and progress.

Congratulations! If you’re about to take a break, you have a wonderful opportunity to experience your best vacation yet! Hot dogs on the grill with some good friends can be just as wonderful- if not more- than an extravagant meal at an expensive restaurant. Besides, that kind of meal won’t take you ten years to pay off!

Whatever you do, if you’ve worked hard all year, be sure to carve out some time to relax and enjoy your loved ones

Regardless of where you are on your journey, rest assured you are loved more than you could ever imagine!  A vacation isn’t the time to beat yourself up because you’re such a crummy person.  You may not feel like it after the year you’ve been through, but rest assured God loves you and wants to spend time with you and your family.  He got you through the year and he’d love to get you to the next level if you’ll only trust him.