Self Leadership |

This is not a set up! Do you know someone who has it all together and doesn’t stress out about all the details. I know lots of people like that and to be honest, they used to make me jealous. However, that is changing thanks to what I’m learning. No, I still don’t have it altogether. However, it’s getting there and here is how you can start getting it all together and stop stressing.

You need a dashboard. You know, like the one in your car or in your boat. Dashboards perform a number of tasks, but one of the most important features is they alleviate stress when they are working properly. Until we ignore them.

Dashboards also monitor a number of things…electrical power, speed, oil-pressure, Temperature, etc. Because of our dashboards, we are able to travel without stressing out every five minutes. If we feel anxious about the performance of our vehicle, one glance at the dashboard calms our fear. Why? Because engineers are pretty smart people.

We’re not always so smart. As complex as a dashboard may seem, it’s a relatively simple tool. So why not create a personal dashboard so that you can glance at it when you feel anxious and be reminded that things are as they should be?

Here is a quick glance at the dashboard I’ve created for myself to make sure to alleviate stress and provide peace, presence, and focus based on what I’ve discovered in David Allen’s book Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity.

In the words of Michael Hyatt in his book Free to Focus: A Total Productivity System to Achieve More by Doing Less, he teaches us that productivity frees us to focus on what is most important to each of us. It’s not just about getting more things done, so that we can feel productive. It’s about creating order in our lives so that we can focus on what’s important.

Without going into the psychology of it all, here’s the dashboard I’ve created. If you’ll take these initial steps and follow through on them, it will help you manage your stress levels and allow you to be present.

The first thing you need is a note pad and pen. You can do this digitally if you like. I used Evernote- a productivity app- to create mine.

Write down everything you have to do. If you’re laughing or freaking out right now after reading that last sentence it’s o.k. To begin, just write down the things that have a high priority in your life right now. As we’ll see, your system is going to take time to develop and it will evolve for the rest of your life. For now just write down what needs to be done. That is, you want to write down what actions you have to take. Don’t do them, just write them down.

For example, don’t just write down Dog on your list. Write down Wash Dog. Schedule Oil Change. Schedule appointment with Eileen. Until you write these action steps down, they just create clamour in your life…they’re always humming in the background of your mind like a huge machine in a factory. Sometimes they remind you vocally when you’re least able to act on them. It can be three o’clock in the morning and your brain reminds you to wash the dog. So get them out of your head and on your dashboard. You can label this guage on your dashboard- actions to be taken.

Write your next actions down, but also take time to review them. There’s more. A gauge on a dashboard is only effective if you use it. When you do this, your brain stops reminding you of what has to be done. You turn off your lizard brain and you begin to focus more on what’s happening in the moment. This is only part of the system, but it’s key.

Recap: Write down next actions in a safe place so that you can refer to them as necessary. This becomes a physical gauge on your dashboard. Voila! It’s that simple. Try it and see if you don’t begin to feel better. Whenever you wonder if you are accomplishing what needs to be accomplished, you can simply glance at your dashboard.

The next gauge is projects. These are things that take more than one action. For example, plan the meeting with your boss to discuss the new initiative. Find a Counselor or Life Coach. Renovate the bathroom. You get the idea. Now write them down. You don’t have to do anything with them at this point, you just have to write them down. What you are doing is simply clearing your brain…unclogging your mental engine…allowing your brain to work at it’s optimum level in a way that it never has before.

Recap: 1) Write down next actions you have to take and review them periodically (guage 1). Step 2: write down projects you are thinking about and review them periodically (Gauge 2). Interestingly enough, you will learn to know when it is time to look at the dashboard.

The other gauges are pretty self-explanatory. A someday/maybe guage. A reference guage. A share/delegate guage.

Briefly, A someday/maybe gauge is a place where you record things that you’d like to do at a later time. They are not necessarily pressing at the moment. They might include Visit Niagara Falls. Take a night class. Without getting into too much detail, you can also break this file down into headings such as home, work, personal, dreams, etc. But for now it’s just important that you have a place to keep them on file.

The reference gauge is just the place where you keep things like the manual for your new refrigerator, memory sticks, articles you find interesting, etc. It doesn’t have to be a physical place but it helps. It can be as simple as a filing cabinet with alphabetical folders.

The share/delegate gauge is simply where you note work that needs to be delegated. For example, Ask Sean to rake the lawn. If you are an executive, it might include things like ask Cheryl to book my room in Atlanta for the conference. Hire an accountant.

Recap: 1) We are often stressed and unable to focus due to a lack of organization in our lives. We never really know where we stand, and have no way to measure progress and what needs to be done because we keep everything in our heads. 2) Our stress becomes manageable when we begin to record specific actions and review them at minimum, weekly. 3) This enables us to be productive at a deeper and higher level than we have ever experienced. In fact, when we take these simple steps, we become more productive and at peace than most of the people around us. 4) Creating and monitoring a personal dashboard frees us to be present with and focus on the people and things that matter most to us.

Your last assignment is simple but powerful. Set aside to think about what you need to do to personalize your own system. For example, you will find that once you start writing down next actions, it is like peeling the proverbial onion. You begin to realize there’s a lot more on your mind than you first imagined. That’s o.k. Remember, this is a life long process. It never ends. Getting organized in this way will never exempt you from the messiness of life. The difference is you will have a way to better navigate the chaos and sense control simultaneously.

Now begin to imagine differently. Rather than playing the movies about the future that you’ve always played, envision a new one. Imagine yourself creating the dashboard and experiencing the peace we’re talking about. Imagine taking the fly fishing trip you planned six months from now and having a peace you’ve never had before because you took a small chunk of time to change direction in your life and get organized. Imagine having a cup of coffee with your sister without worrying if there is any laundry to do.

Stop carrying everything around in your brain today. Write down what you need to do and review it from time to time. Then do what needs to be done. Only when you get everything out of your head will you begin to break free from stress and be free to enjoy all that life has in store for you.

A Little Honey

It was the Spring of 2014. The office was neat and orderly. There were two black leather chairs facing each other next to a well-filled bookcase. Little did I know it, but I was about to embark on a journey that would change my life forever.

Leading up to that day, I’d been pastoring for almost five years. I’d completed an advanced seminary degree. I’d read lots of books and was pretty sure I was just destined to be an unsuccessful pastor. That’s when I met my mentor.

We decided to work on three particular areas. Homework involved reading prescribed books and completing various assignments. We met every other month or two and reviewed each session. My mentor listened and asked thought provoking questions. When asked, he would share his personal views, otherwise he would let me do most of the talking.

I’m pleased to admit that amazing things have happened because of this relationship. Not only did I study the books my mentor gave me to read, I studied him and watched how he led his church. I listened to his sermons. Followed him on Facebook and Twitter. I even read his thesis from Liberty University….twice! You get the idea.

Lets face it, we all need a little guidance, coaching, accountability and help from time to time.

It’s not that we don’t know the answers. Often we do. But what we need is Jesus with skin on. Someone who not only knows the truth but lives the truth. Someone who encourages us like a parent; coaxes us, prods us to stick with it. Someone who shows us the path and tells us we can do it. We all have weaknesses and there is always someone who can do something better than we can. But sometimes we need someone who will tell us EXACTLY what to do given a particular situation.

These people aren’t always naturals. While my mentor possesses above average gifts, he is a reader. That encouraged me. I’d never met anyone who read as much or more than I do. I figured if he can do it, so can I. He learns from others. He creates opportunities to glean from those who excel in his field. I took a leaf out of his book and met with a successful church planter during one of my vacations! The planter also turned out to be an avid reader.

Encouragers rejoice in hope; they are patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer. Do you have anyone like this in your life? If you don’t, maybe it’s time you found someone. Someone who can laugh in the face of difficulties. Someone who endures the hardships and setbacks in life while still moving forward. Someone who prays like everything depends on God, yet works like everything depends on them. A pioneer who is fast on the tracks of another pioneer. Some one who in the words of Bill Hybels is always tinkering and tweaking.

Encouragers make their own luck. And they’ve also discovered the harder the work, the luckier they get. More than that, they realize despite how hard they work, the results are up to God. Encouragers trust; seek; lead others to cooperate.

People with the gift of exhortation see the big picture. They see and encourage people to execute the steps necessary to reach their goal. They press or prod. But they do it in such a way that most of the time the other party never even realizes what is happening. Notice I didn’t say they manipulate. That’s far from what they do in the sense that we think of that word. What they do is lead. And they lead with wisdom and tenderness. They are like loving fathers and mothers. Encouragers earn our devotion and faithfulness.
Encouragers are wise as serpents and harmless as doves. They’ve learned from experience what works and what doesn’t. They’ve learned that a little honey goes a lot further than vinegar. They are realists. They have a tighter grip on reality then some of the rest of us. They don’t just hope, they chart a course. They are not harsh taskmasters who focus on results at the expense of people. They are task oriented, but they also own people skills. Encouragers know how to motivate and inspire others.

So what’s your dream? What steps do you have to take to achieve it? If you’re unsure, talk with someone who’s been down the same road and weathered the storms of life. Chances are they didn’t succeed because they are any luckier or more deserving than you are. Ask to meet with them. See if there’s any chemistry. If there is, ask if they’d be willing to meet once a month or so to talk. Offer to buy them lunch or coffee. Give them a gift certificate or a cash gift. Buy them a book or offer them a perk or reward. Not because you owe them, but because they’re worth it. Because you care about them and their endeavors. Encouragers will help you pursue your dream.

Be selective. It’s not just anyone you’re looking for. You’re looking for someone who has a good track record. You’re looking for someone who cares about you and is willing to press you to take the necessary steps. They’ll also be patient. Encouragers will overlook your shortcomings. Encouragers have been where you are and realize growth is a process, not a prescription. They know the landscape. Encouragers have the battle scars to show.

It’s not that you don’t know the truth. Chances are your mentor will tell you what you’ve already heard a million times. The difference is your mentor will help you to apply what you’ve learned. Once you begin to apply what you’ve learned, you’ll seek life-change in other areas. Once you’ve changed your life, you’ll attract and inspire others.

Remember, a little honey goes a long way. Next week we’ll look at what it looks like when someone has the gift of giving. Until then, have a blessed week and GO THE DISTANCE!

The marks of an exhorter according to Romans 12:12: “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.”

Tag Archives: Self Leadership

How To Break Free From Stress

A Little Honey

Part 4 of our study in Romans 12