Human beings crave the favor of others.

The little girl who dances for her dad.

The teen who needs the jean jacket because everyone else has one.

The twenty-something who goes to school to get the job that will finance his dreams

The thirty year old who feels the need to get married because everyone else is.

The forty year old who realizes some dreams may never come true.

If only there was an easier way.  A way that didn’t cost so us so much time and energy.  A way that wasn’t so painful. If only we had some kind of strategy.

On the other hand, for some of us, there comes a time when we feel like we’ve come out of the darkness and entered a whole new world.  A world of love and light. A place where we speak and people listen. A world where we constantly receive the recognition and love of others.

That’s the kind of room we’d all like to live in.  The question is how to get there.

It’s not as complicated as most people make it.

The apostle Paul, under the inspiration of God, tells us how it’s possible.

But more than just a strategy to manipulate others and get what we want, he shares how we can experience the highest level of fulfillment this side of heaven.  

Abraham Lincoln said it this way, “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend, and the best way to make someone a friend is to give them that accolade”.

Think about why you love the people that you love.  The number one reason you love them is because they love you.  That’s nothing spectacular. Jesus himself said so.

Jesus said, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you have?  Don’t even the tax collectors do the same?” (Matthew 5:46).

When Jesus spoke these words, the Roman Empire ruled his people.  When he referred to Roman tax collectors, he was sure to strike a chord with the people he was speaking to.  In essence, he’s saying ‘even the vilest person on earth loves the people who love him’.

The rub is loving the unloveable.

That’s an entirely different animal.

But wait.  That’s who we were.  All of us at one point in our life were undeserving of God’s love.

Maybe you feel that way right now.

The good news is God loves you anyway!  In fact, he loves you all the more for the very reason that you are so undeserving.

The bible tells us he is kind and full of love and mercy.

Eventually, with the passage of time we realize how much God loves us and accept his free gift of eternal life.

When we do, everything changes.  

Looking back in my own life, people didn’t change the more I criticized or berated them.  They didn’t change when I taught them a course called ‘How to Change’. They didn’t change when I gave them money.  They changed when I loved them, through thick and thin. During good times and bad. When they were unloveable and had no use for me whatsoever.  Love makes the difference every time.

The same is true of us.  We didn’t come to love someone who lectured us or scored our performance.  We came to love them because they loved us. The bible says, “We love God, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

As lovers of men’s souls, we need to take the lead.  In the words of C.S Lewis, “Everyone we meet will spend eternity somewhere!”.

While we’re at it, it’s not difficult to figure out.  The way to love others is to treat them the way we would want to be treated if we were them.  Jesus said, “So whatsoever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).

How many times?  Once? No. Ten times?  No. 199 times? Nope. Continually.

“Love is patient, love is kind.  Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Maybe you’ve heard this passage read at a wedding.  It’s not just a bunch of words so that we’ll have enough material to perform a wedding service.  They capture an undying, timeless truth.

This powerful principle allows us to experience acceptance and favor beyond what we could ever imagine.  The kind we hunger and thirst for. The kind that allows us to die as fulfilled human beings.

And it begins with you.

You can be like the tax collector who loves people who love them or you can be like Jesus.

Jesus reminds us that people love people who love them…that’s human nature.  It happens naturally.

If you want to be loved by others, love them.  Whole heartedly. Unabashedly. Especially when they are least deserving.

Rather than seeing those difficult people in your life as enemies you hate, what if you looked at them as someone God loves and died for?

Imagine them as potential friends.  It’s not they’re job to initiate the friendship, it’s ours.

In the words of one wise man, some people put up walls around them just waiting to see who will have the persistence to break through and love them.

That kind of leader has no problem influencing others for good or having people surround them to rejoice and celebrate life with them.

Why not start today.  Go out and give that E.G.R.P (Extra Grace Required Person) another chance.  Listen one more time. Buy them a coffee or a sandwich. Smile when they glare.  Laugh when they curse you. But whatever you do, never give up on them! Aren’t you glad God didn’t give up on you?